I met my first love when I was 12-13 it started out as internet puppy love, eventually when I was like 15 we met for the first time because she was coming to visit a city I lived near. When I was 16-17 the relationship got extremely rocky, we were still long distance and she cheated on me.. A LOT there was a lot of mental abuse that she put me through and eventually I went to go see her regardless of everything that happened, things got extremely ugly while I was there and I ended up going to jail and then foster care. I was diagnosed with PTSD after everything she put me through, I lost all of my friends, I developed a serious social anxiety and extreme trust issues. But, now I’m 22 and I’ve moved on with my life but I still can’t help but think “what if?” And it kind of makes me feel like a freak or some kind of stalker because I still think about her constantly. I just don’t feel like this is normal and I don’t know what to do about it.