Do you judge people’s looks?

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I’ve always been the type of person to say “Everybody is beautiful in their own way” and “Weight doesn’t define you.” but, doesn’t it matter to you? Would you date someone who had a FANTASTIC personality, but was chunky? Would you date someone who had a wonky nose? Are you picky about looks? Or do you care more about personality?

Tags: asked April 12, 2014

21 Answers

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accepted
well, personally - I date people purely based on personality and values.However, the idea of 'looks' being important - in a psychological point of view - this arises from the idea when children are young - especially fairytales they show case 'good characteristics ' with good looking - in cinderella the 'ugly sisters' had 'bad character'as for weight some people are whiling to accept it - on the other hand , some may view it as a weakness and inability of self control and the idea that 'anyone' can lose weight if they really want to - this in mind they discard the fact some people eat emotionally or have other health problems.Furthermore, some men/women think that 'average' looking people are too easy to come across so when you get a hold of a 'good looking ' one you must make more of an effort - Thats why you may hear a lot of wo/men saying oh ' s/he is still with him/her in-spite of the fact of them being such an horrible person '…This is due to the fact that person believes that they may not able to get better and they feel more self confident around peers believing that they have achieved such a 'good-looking' person.I hope that gives you some in-site in you want to know more feel free to inbox me anytime :)
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If I wanted to date, I would want to date someone who meets my standards and doesn't look terrible. I'm not going to lie and say it's all about personality. The first thing you see is not personality, but appearance. The guys that have potential aren't the best-looking, and I don't care, but they're also not hard to look at (I usually don't go for the typical 'hot guys' because I'm sure all the girls want that, and I don't need crazy competition). So yeah, for me, looks are a contributing factor. However, that does not necessarily mean I judge people by their looks. I befriend everyone, no matter their beliefs, looks, orientation, etc. are. I say not necessarily because sometimes when we see someone, we get pre-thoughts (can't think of another word haha) of how the person will be. I'm sure I've been guilty of that. I can't recall a time, but probably because we do that unconsciously. That's why some people are callous enough to say they don't like someone and don't even know them or have even talked to them....yeah, I'm starting to digress now, so, I'm done with that. All in all, personality (and proximity) wins.
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People can try as hard as they may, but evolution says the FIRST REASON people are attracted to one another is because physically, they think they would make an good mate to produce strong children with. THIS IS THE EVOLUTIONARY TRUTH, in accordance to heterosexual couples. This obviously doesn't account for heterosexual couples.
This being said, there are always exceptions. Also, we decide what happens once we are attracted to or not attracted to a person. They could be incredibly good looking but a complete dud, and that ends that attraction. Or the opposite, they could be "average" looking but after getting to know them, you fall in love with their personality and then everything about them becomes attractive. This also has an evolutionary standpoint, because humans seek what is familiar in themselves sin other people when seeing a mate under most circumstances, because that is what you subconsciously want to procreate.
I actually have a pretty weird story in accordance to your question. I met my current boyfriend on an app called Tinder. His pictures were absolutely adorable. He looked maybe a liiittle chunky, but I loved his eyes and his hair, and he had a great smile. PLUS, he loves cats, Harry Potter and Tool. He was a BARTENDER at my favorite club, for goodness' sake! We texted for three days straight and I told my mom I was going to marry him before I even met him in person. But, when I did meet him in person, it turned out we were the same height -- 5'4. He was a shortie...and I was instantly turned off and friendzoned him. I didn't want to date a short, stocky guy. Well, he pursued me pretty hard, and I finally gave him a real chance, and I ended up falling in love with him, and now I think he's God's sexiest creation ad my mom also thinks I'm going to marry him.
So, there's all that. Take of it what you will, just remember genetics and evolution dominates all things subconsciously, but we decide what happens after according to our personal values.
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Someone once told me the first thing u do when you see someone is you judge them by their looks, if their looks are attractive the other people will go and speak to them. But I personally Say looks do matter, so does personality, but more personality matter to me.
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I don't judge anyone's appearance. Except for my own.
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To be honest, appearance count to me. I can't be sexually attracted to someone if they are not physically attractive. Sometimes, more I get to know the person, more I find them attractive because their beautiful personality shine but, I still feel like I wouldn't be able to date them because I can't be "physically" attracted to them.
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I'll be honest. Looks sort of matter but in a different way: For me, its just something to talk about. "Yeah, he is goodlooking/handsome, etc." But thats it. I never date people just because they're goodlooking. Its ALWAYS the personality that draws me in.
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Honestly, looks do play a role. However, they aren't a determining factor on how I judge someone. Personality handles that. In a partner, personality outweighs looks. Though I wouldn't date someone I'm not at least a bit physically attracted to. We all dig certain traits on a person. But personality is pretty hefty. Why? Looks fade within time, but a personality is forever. It is the essence of you that will maintain itself longer than looks ever will.
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Honestly, physical appearance does matter; that's not something I personally can avoid. However, I can't dictate my own habits of attraction, and it's possible for me to like a guy and find him attractive when many others think he's unattractive. It's not really accurate to say that personality determines attraction because it's not something we can change. Attraction occurs independently of whether or not one chooses to believe personality or appearance matters more.
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Looks are important for me
I'm not going to lie and say that personality is the only thing I care about, because its not. I can't be in a healthy relationship if I'm not sexually attracted to them, and this is coming from experience.
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To be honest, it's hard not to judge someone by their looks. The idea is to try and focus on the personality. Attraction can come from a great personality just as well as physical appearance can.
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Well, honestly, I judge people based on looks when I first meet them, but that doesn't stop me from going up to them and talking to them. Of course, when I like a guy, they have to be somewhat cute, but everyone has their imperfections. I like guys that are willing to talk to me everyday, and always joke around with me and smile. If they aren't like that I don't like them. I usually give everyone a chance though because everyone has their own good qualities.
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i don't really care about looks. i feel that you should love your own body. However, i believe that there is a point where someones weight, for example, becomes unhealthy. its okay to be over weight, but not to the point where it is seriously affecting your health. and on the topic of beauty, i also really don't care. but again, there is a difference between what society calls "ugly" (no one is ugly, i am not saying that you or anyone is ugly) and being unkept. if they don't really try to look presentable, it makes others think that they really don't care about anything or might be perceived as a slob...
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I do at first, but once I get to know them it really determines how I view them.
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Honestly the personality is what should draw you in, is worth it too have the best looking man you can find but him be a complete douche to you and make you feel like your nothing?? No, i'm going to be honest though appearances do matter for me too. I want someone that has an amazing personality but i want someone attractive also. When you look for someone it is best to look at the inside but the outside doesn't hurt either.
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well yea i "judge" people but that doesnt mean i disregard them... no matter what they look like i will always talk to someone... there was actually this girl that i didnt see to be attractive at all... but when i got to know her, she became one of the most beautiful girls i know, all because i got to know who she really is, her personality... i guess what im saying is someone personality brings out the beauty in everyone, but only those who try and seek it will ever realize how beautiful the person really is...
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To me, I don't like to judge people because I have been judged before for my weight and a bit of my color of skin. Usually mostly it was more about my taste in music and the way how I love rock music and stuff like that. but I mean I don't care what people look like if I like them I damn like them! xD haha. If people are judging you why bother? These people are not you so why let them get to you? They should mind their own business that's what they should be doing!! I always have a habit of always seeing people disrespect people I bug into their conversation even if I don't know them. So yeah... Though, it is true everyone is beautiful in their own way and nobody should be afraid to hold their lovers hand or be afraid to show themselves in public. We all secrets so why be afraid? :)
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once you love someone for their personality you start to love them for the way they look too, ive dated thick unattractive girls for their personality and also really skinny pretty girls for their personality, i would love to find a great balance but to me personality is first, i currently love a girl with schizophrenia, anorexia, addiction problems and cutting problems but she is gorgeous and has such a kind beautiful soul
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I guess for me, there has to be at least one element in their physical looks that attracts me. I've dated thin and fat guys. I've dated a guy who everyone thought was hideous, but I loved him because of his personality and the way he made me feel. I know that Personality is a big factor for me, but I also know that for a lot of people that isn't the case. While it is sad to admit, we should all try to take care of ourselves, but for our sake and not for others. I know this is a bit off topic, but being healthy and happy with our bodies is the first step we can take before loving anyone else. You have to love yourself first
With that being said, I would say I'm not picky about looks, although I do have a preference. Thankfully that doesn't stop me from dating someone, I will date them for their personality, not their looks. You grow to love the quirks and small flaws that make them them.
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another factor is like @MrSmile says more people will approach someone who 'good-looking ' than someone who is 'chunky' or has a 'wanly nose' - because the 'good looking ' one would stand out .- They may later learn about their personality through the course of the meeting -
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Coming from a fat girl, no I wouldn't date a fat guy. Only because I don't wanna play the "lets try to find my penis" or "can we find a good position" game.