PLEASE ANSWER ASAP!!!! Do I Have The Right To Feel Betrayed Or MAD?????

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Im 24 and so is my best friend.
Ive been her bestfriend for 10 years

I know her like the palm of my hand

But lately i suspect that shes seeing this guy

Heres the situation

The guy is 19 years old

She saw him for 2months but it took a nasty turn recently

Because he hit her

The night he hit her

She came by me BRUISED

Her leg black and blue

For that entire week

She stayed at my place

I did my roll and was her friend and comforted her in that time of need

Then he sent her a message saying he want to see her before he goes back to his country for xmas

Since shes been back home we havent skyped which is weird

I asked her when last she spoke to him but she said she hasnt in awhile

Then today she came to see me

She looked TIRED as fuck

As if she just had sex like if youre sexually active you’d know the look

Then she had a juice in the cup holder

On the passenger side of the car because she was driving

I said ” yo why you have this juice here”

She was like i was thirsty

So i was like so then why not have it by your side

She was like well my side doesnt have a holder

So i was liek yo youre saying your gonna stretch all the way across to the passenger side

To get a sip? ok then

Then the final clue came tonight

I was calling her she only answered via text

And we have a facebook page

Shes the manager

Something told me to go see the guys page

When i did i see his recent activity was he liked the page

But I NEVER got the notification in my feeds

And I suspect its because she deleted the notification because when I checked the page likes I saw his like but I receievd no notification

Sigh i just wanna know

Do i have a right to be mad at her?

If I neglect the friendship is that me abandoning her? Because I feel like I wanna not be around her if thats what she’s hiding to do!

*Please note im just scared something happens to her*

Category: Tags: asked December 20, 2013

6 Answers

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you should write slam poetry o:
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Whoa, I do not understand why she has to come to you with this for you to feel like a friendship is valid. It is a valid friendship, she went to you when she was hurt by him, obviously she loves you and feels secure with you. In my opinion you are taking this far too personally. As a person who was involved in an abusive relationship I know how much shame and guilt she probably feels. If she has gotten back with him then it is likely that she doesn't want you to know because she feels so ashamed. I was unable to tell anyone about my abusive relationship for a very long time because I felt that way. Now, I think it would be best for you to not cut off the friendship, for her benefit. If she is truly going into a abusive relationship with this man then she will need support. If you leave her now then she might feel trapped in her relationship because she lacks support outside of it. The best thing you can do for your friend is not get offended by her behavior and treat her with kindness. She needs your support and needs to know that you will not react negatively towards her when she decides she is ready to talk about the abuse. This is a very serious issue, you cant stop it from happening and you need to put your hurt on the back burner for a bit in order to be there for your friend. Say something like, "I know this might not be what is happening, but if you are truly going back to him then I'd like to tell you that you are worth more then that. You don't deserve to be hurt in that way and he does not truly love you. I understand that maybe you feel like you cant talk to be about this because you think I will judge you, however I will be there for you in anyway that I can."
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@APeerLikeU and @Lion Heart...I've ALWAYS been there for her....WORDS cannot express what I'd DO if I heard she's hurt again! Honestly speaking I'm really FURIOUS because even though I understand she's ashamed I still feel she doesn't need to LIE!!! I HATE when the people close to me LIE to me. It is her problem but I....I just don't know what I'd do if I hear something bad happened to her but thank you you both give valid points ...I just really want her to be away from him like find someone who wouldnt hit her and make her feel low i dont feel good knowing my friend life is in danger
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Honestly, I think she getting controlled by her abusive boyfriend. Emtionally and Physically. Please don't be angry. Help her. Try to get the help she needs.
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be there for her. people get blinded by love all the time, regardless how 'poisonous' the relationship may be! let her know that you are there for her whenever she needs it. you can always give her advice, and let her know your concerns. Try not to pressure her into following what you believe to be the right thing cos it may push her away or make her angry. Be the good friend that you are being. All the best with everything
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Thank you