Do I have the right to be frustrated with my father for this?

0

Okay, first of all my biological father passed away when I was younger so he is my stepfather, however I feel too close to him to call him step. Two years ago he got a new job and moved to a new city with his girlfriend and a promise to come back in to see us twice a week and every other weekend (keeping with the divorce agreement between him and my mother). That turned to every other weekend (which is understandable because coming in from two hours away every couple days is a pain) but now it’s turned into coming in whenever. The worst part is that there are clear signs of his new girlfriend having monetary rather than loving motives to being with my dad, and she is the one that keeps scheduling camping trips that keeps him away from us on “our weekends”. She and my dad were together before he and my mother where, and the reason they broke up back then was she was trying to make sure he would spend more time with her than with his children, and now it seems like history has repeated itself. Even though we have brought it up numerous times he defends her every move, so it’s basically futile to bring it up. So here I sit, frustrated and near tears on Father’s Day, while my dad is in the woods somewhere (no cell connection so I can’t even wish him a happy Father’s Day) with his girlfriend. I’m feeling conflicted because I am a young adult who doesn’t necessarily need her father to hold her hand, but I can’t help feeling abandoned and like I’ve completely lost another dad.

Category: asked June 21, 2015

1 Answer

2
First of all I would like to offer my deep condolences about what you are going through. You definitely do have the right to be upset, and it is imperative that you express this concern with your step-father as soon as possible. Tell him what you feel has been going on, and how it is affecting you. Have you considered asking your father to take you with him on these trips, perhaps some reconciliation could occur through the three of you spending time together and talking with one another. You are always allowed to feel upset, just make sure to express your feelings to your father in a one-on-one setting, and not internalize your frustrations.