did i cheat on my bf_

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So my bf and i have been dating for 4 years. and at the beggining of our relationship we both flirted around and he actually kissed and hung out with other girls and i never did, we worked through everything until recently he found out about a guy i was flirting with 4 months ago. I talked to the guy for about 3 weeks and we talked on the phone every once in a while. He knew i had a bf and that i love him dearly but still we flirted. i told the guy we had to stop talking and we did. my bf broke up with me and says i cheated and that he would never take me back. i know i did wrong but i want to be with him. Did i really cheat on him or do something so bad that he has the right to call me a slut and a bitch. is it okay that he took it so extreme?

Category: asked January 16, 2014

9 Answers

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The name calling is never okay. That's extremely disrespectful. While I'm sure he was just upset and didn't mean it, it's not right. Well my question would be did you try to hide the fact that you were talking to this guy from your boyfriend? You mentioned that your boyfriend used to flirt and kiss other girls at the beginning of your relationship. Did this cease entirely? In my opinion, just because you're in a relationship with a boy doesn't mean that you can't talk to or be friends with other guys, however these friendships shouldn't be hidden from your boyfriend. In theory it would be the same for your boyfriend. He could have female friends, but you would know about them. If you did hide the boy you were talking to, he might be feeling a little betrayed because of that. I don't think you necessarily cheated on him unless through physical contact, sexting (I'm not saying you do, just as a general idea), or by hiding the fact that you even have a boyfriend. If you did none of those things than I don't think you cheated on him. I think his trust might be strained though. Maybe give him a little time to cool off and then try talking to him about it? Face to face would probably be best. Best of luck to you!
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thank you jenny. but yes i was hiding the fact that i was talking to this guy. my bf and i have had lots of trust issues in the past that is why we dont really have friends of the opposite sex. but for the past year we havent had those issues and now because of me we do again. i did hide it. but i want another chance.
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I know that he loves me and i love him. we basically live together and his family loves me. i dont think its worth throwing away all of our plans and dreams that we have.
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Well you understand what you did was wrong and you understand how it hurt your relationship. And you seem to still want him. I have seen couple overcome trust issues before. I'm sure you two could overcome them as well. I highly suggest that you two talk face to face and clear everything up. If not now, then as soon as he is calmed down enough to have a reasonable conversation. If you think this relationship is worth fighting for then fight for it. Of course you will have to earn his trust back, but with time and effort, I'm sure you two can work things out. Best of luck to you!
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Anything you wouldn't do in front of your significant other that you are doing with another person, should be considered cheating.
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Did you cheat? NO YOU DID NOT Was he right? NO HE LEFT YOU and used an EXCUSEHe's a fking loser.. don't even think of being around him...
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People day it's acceptable to have other people in your life before you decide to be exclusive, provided it stops, but he's the one who decides if flirting with someone after 3 and a half years together is somethings he wants to tolerate or forgive, and he decided, so I think that the best road to eventually make peace doesn't go through minimizing what intensity of cheating it was. Good luck.
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Lots of red flags in this! You need to read this: http://www.newhopeforwomen.org/abuser-tricks

Your boyfriend is using guilt to punish you. You need to take a very deliberate step AWAY from him, and to avoid talking to him in private, if at all.
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No guy EVER has the right to call you a bitch or a slut that's just plain awful. And he really was overreacting. What you did wasn't even that bad especially if it was only flirting, you took the initiation to break it off, and he used to cheat too, so he was kinda an asshole for treating you like that. You can't change the fact that he broke up with you, but it's just really...dissapointing? that he'd end your 4 year relationship over something like this. Maybe he'll calm down a bit after a break.