Depressed Significant Other


Hi, I was wondering how do you best support a significant other who is suffering from a severe depression? Our relationship is on the rocks as it is, but I’m quite sure a lot of it is the direct result of (or impacted primarily by) his depression right now. I’ve made a decision to stay beside him despite his uncertain feelings, and put my own needs aside for the time being. Since I’ve already committed myself to that decision, what are ways in which I can support him without being seen as overbearing and/or pressuring? Any ideas for how to make our time together lighthearted/easy-going and perhaps help to reinforce our bond with one another would also be helpful…

Thanks in advance.

Category: Tags: asked March 23, 2013

2 Answers

While I think it is noble that you stand beside him putting your own needs on the back burner. I have to say that if your heart is not in this relationship and if you do not feel that you love him this is not going to be productive for you- for either of you - in the long run.

That being said, you've made this choice and for now it is your path to follow. For me and my husband supporting him has been tough. It's been sitting with him and talking to him about how life is good, that the things he's suffering anxiety about are not as a hard as they seem. I've had to talk him down off the roof. But, there are easier parts. We sit and talk about stupid silly stuff. We cuddle and watch feel good movies. Even though it can be difficult we keep our sex life alive and keep normal activities. Sometimes me telling him exactly what I'm thinking... no matter how unpleasant; me telling him that I'm hurting and that this is getting too much for me to bear... makes it less difficult for me to keep going.

I'd be remiss to mention the fact that recently he's gotten on medication. We also see a therapist alone and together. It gives us an outlet to talk to vent to have someone help us explain our feelings.
Nowadays there are many effective methods to overcome this disease. It does not look serious but it is very dangerous. There are many communities in every area of Normally, they are free of charge, only your wish to participate is required. Besides, there are many useful resources online. You can find meditation portals or find a certified therapist online for a session.