I recently told my girlfriend that I was depressed and I’ve brought it up four or five times after that but she never has anything to say and switches the topic almost immediately. When I first mentioned it, she commented that her friend also had depression and it seemed like a lot of people had depression these days and she knew it would sound weird but she just wished that people didn’t have depression! I have had depression most of my life and she is the second person I’ve told. The first person has actively tried to get me to tell a teacher or someone I trust but my GIRLFRIEND has done nothing! I just find myself really dissapointed in her. Is that selfish and what can I do?
She may not know what to do. Depression is a tricky thing, and in all honesty should be dealt with head on by professionals - not your girl. She should be willing to encourage and support you as you get treatment, however. Cut her some slack and cut yourself some, too. Get the help you need and let her know you want her to be part of you getting help. Best you can do. Like the reply above me said, she doesn't have a manual for how to handle this. If she came running to you with her left arm detached in her right hand, I'm pretty sure you'd flail in panic for a moment before helping her get treatment. Depression is like that, only worse because you can't see the hurt or how far it goes or any obvious ways to help the one suffering.
I suggest to think about what kind of behavior do you want from her because you have depression, and to ask specifically for that, and see how it goes. She doesn't have a guide or instructions ready just in case someone has depression.
She doesn't seem stunned she just seems like she's heard it before. I guess mainstream media talks about depression a lot and how practically everyone has it. I guess she just doesn't think its a big deal.
And she may not. So many people self diagnose and just because they feel a little sad or down think they are suffering from depression. Those who are truly in need of help, as a result, do not get taken seriously. If you feel you are truly depressed, I encourage you to seek professional help. No one can help you but you - you gotta take the first step. Not because your gf wants you to. You need help, you go get it, and if you're diagnosed and treated that will make it real to her. Until then, all you're doing is telling her you're depressed. Heck, I could sit here and tell you I'm depressed but at the end of the day without the medicine to back you up its just a label people overuse. Not her fault or yours.
Well that can be dissapointing. I understand this can cause negative feelings for you such as sadness, dissapointment, etc. As a person like myself dealing with depression is not an easy thing, and I know when you tell someone it's because you trust them and expect them to take it seriously and most importantly show you that they CARE.
I think you should sit down and have a serious conversation with her and tell her how you feel, tell her this is real and it's something you carry with you 27/7 7 days a week. It's not a part-time job, it's not something you control, it's not the typical sadness, it's blunt out, straightforward depression. And it's real.
I would suggest getting professionally diagnosed if you already aren't, show her it's a real thing. Make her take you seriously. If after that she still doesn't care, I'd say she isn't worth the trouble.
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