Dating a friend advice

I have developed feelings for my female friend whom I know for about a year and a half now. We are not BFF’s but always had a great connection. We shared laughs and I also thought she was interested in me in a romantic kind of way. Last month we had drinks together for the first time without other people, which lasted for hours and we had great long talks. I decided to act upon my feelings now, so I invited her over for dinner, which she happily accepted. But when I texted her about food preferences and allergies, she texted: “are you going to cook yourself? it’s not a date “. Even though I did not show my true feelings to her yet, I was planning to romance her at our dinner date. But now that she says that it is a friendship date, I am insecure whether I should pursue. I am really in love with her, but with the girls whom I fell in love with, I always strike out. Maybe because I become to unsecure or don’t show them my true feelings. Please advice, because I do not know what to do next.

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pieter

3 Answers

What?! Cooking dinner for a friend not a date? I'd be thrilled if a guy wanted to cook me dinner! Is she implying its not a date because you're not paying? Because, if so that's some materialistic bullshit. Any douchebag can buy dinner, but not a lot of guys are willing, or can even cook at all. The perfect response to her text would have been "Suuuure it's not ;-)". It's still flirty, but then she would have to clarify for sure what she really meant. Anyway, You should just ask her: "So, why isn't this a date? Do you not want to go on a date with me?" Let her explain herself. This should give you pretty clear indication of whether she's really interested or not. If she's not, then you can decide whether you want to tell her how you feel or not. If she is then go ahead and romance her. Hope this helps! Good luck!

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1,447

It doesn't have to be a date to express your feelings. Sometimes women are playing hard to get, but this time she's right tho...you didn't actually ask her out on a date.Since you find yourself in this predicament, just go for it man. You have nothing to lose here. She enjoys your company and she knows this isn't a normal "hangout session". The proof i'd say is in her response. If you were just hanging out should you not be concerned about her likes or allergies? I really believe she's asking you 'is this a date?'Just keep marching on like it is... but be straight up about it the night of. Don't drop to your knees the second she hits the door, but don't wait until the night is over either. But i do say maybe hold off on the candle light for right now ;)Good luck

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groanman

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Thanks to you both! I think she wasn't referring to the fact that it isn't a date when I don't pay but maybe she expected that we were going to buy groceries together and cook a dinner together (as friends really do). I will try to sense her feelings during the date and express my feelings based on that. Any other advice is welcome! :)

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pieter