Could he still love me? Or did I wait too long?

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I met this boy a year ago. It was online, yes. We were close, and I was trying to get over my ex… Who I now go to college with. This boy and I skyped and talked on the phone all the time. But never got to hang out in person. I was always busy or my anxiety of not being good enough sank in and I chickened out. So ultimately, he kept getting really frustrated with me. His college is 40 minutes from my house, and his home is 3 hours away. But he kept coming back. Every time he’s get mad and say he’s done with me, he’s come back. I never really liked him that way. I mean, he had girlfriends during this year, but he’d always break up with them because he felt we were always going to work out. But I had still been stuck on my ex. Hoping that he’d change his mind and come back. But I realized, he never really loved me. This other boy, really did love me. A few weeks ago, I started to realize that I actually do REALLY care about this boy, but he just got a new girlfriend. He tells me that he’s really happy and that he likes her. I’m so jealous it hurts. But he keeps complimenting me and texts/snapchats me all day, unless he’s with her. He asked me tonight if I still had feelings for him. I just said “I dunno, that would be wrong considering you’re in a relationship. Why does it matter?” In which he replied “I just wondered.” We also talked about sex. I’m a virgin, and he knows that. I jokingly told him I was going to become a slut because I suck at relationships. He brought this point up, and I said “Sleeping around isn’t really my thing, I would rather sleep with someone I knew loved me” He said, “Then why did it take so long for you to visit me?” I said “What does that have to do with our conversation?” He replied, ” You said you’d rather sleep with someone you knew loved you. Well I did earlier…” Then I felt my heart literally sink. I’m pretty sure that I love this boy, it just took me so long to realize it. But is he gone forever now? He knows all my secrets and basically everything about me… But did I realize things too late? Or could he still love me like I do him?

Category: Tags: asked December 21, 2013

3 Answers

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The best thing to do in any sort of relationship is just be honest. You've obviously thought this out really well and done a lot of soul searching, so just explain yourself to this boy. Tell him how you feel and how you've come to realize it. I'll be honest; he may reject you, but that has nothing to do with you, it's to do with him. Remember, you are amazing and you are more than good enough. That's probably the more pressing issue right now; you deciding that you're good enough. I've found in my own life that if I don't think I'm good enough, then how will anyone else be good enough for me? You've handled this really well, and the hard part's not quite over yet, but I promise you that everything will work out in the end, even if it's not in the way you expect. Let me know what happens! (only if you want to :) )
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Brutal truth is that honesty isn't the best policy. If you confess your dying lvoe for him then he knows you're always going to be there waiting for him. That way he won't ever have to commit because you'll always be there. I think if he's snapchatting you and all this it seems like he does like you, he wouldn't bring up his 'earlier' feelings for you if he was completely happy with this girl. I think make it clear you;re not just some girl 'on the side' and just slowly try and read the situation. Go meet him as friends and then you'll know
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when you talk on the phone and text message, it may be a form of love, yes, but it's not the form of love we dream of at night. when you hear a voice or read a line of characters, you imagine things that are behind it. you don't actually feel the person. it's like listening to a song cover, you know? it might be cool, but it's not the original song. so, really, i know how deep an online relationship can get, but it's always cyberdepth. never the real thing, unless you make it real, literally.

my humble point is: are you sure that a virtual relationship is worth real worry?

also, this: instead of asking here, why not ask him out? just a coffee. or a pizza. no strings attached. just see his eyes, get it overwith. compare the image you're holding onto in your mind with who the guy truly is