communication isnt the best


Ill try not to get side tracked

I met this girl online. She seemed awesome, but dating an abusive asshole. I comforted her everytime he cheated on her or upset her. Eventually, she had eyes for me but I was weary at first. She was and still is so perfect, I thought she was out of my league. But I felt so confortable and happy around her, so I made her mine. Fast forward a month, she has still been talking to the guy because she said she invested so much into him and she cant just drop him. I understood. Ontop of this she slowly began to communicate less and less, to the point where she didnt talk to me much and we just hung out together. It came to the point where she went back to him, and man was I heartbroken. She was so perfect and I lost her. I was so depressed. I never stopped thinking about her and even after she left I still wrote to her on the Tumblr blog I created for her. I wrote her love letters too. I didn’t hear from her for a month, so I took it as a hint that she would never speak to me again. I got more depressed. Then, 2 days before valentines day, she texted me begging for forgiveness and that she wanted me and that she read my blog everyday and missed me so much. I was shocked and overwhelmed. I saw her the next day, and it was magical seeing her face again. This is the girl I want to share my life with I thought. We continued to see each other a couple times but she still doesn’t text me more than once a day if at all, and she still talks to him.

So here is my problem. She came back to me after seeing this guy in person (their relationship was online since he is in another country) and he wasn’t as amazing as she thought. So I’m wondering if she came back for me, or came back for the affection I provide. I don’t want to be a second choice. But I figure if you love something let it go, if it comes back it’s yours. And I love her more than the moon and the stars on a dark night, but she almost immediately asked for sex and still never said she loved me. I told her no sex to see where it went, and she still asked me to come over so I figured she must just enjoy being with me, so I am giving it a chance and thinking she does love me, or will. My other problem is the communication. We have very short conversations only texting and it is nice when I hear from her but I havent seen her in about 2 weeks and havent heard from her in 2 days. She has depression, anxiety and alot of problems I want to help with. She hasnt fully openned up to me, so Im trying to let her come to me but it is so hard as I have no patience. I am willing to wait for her but Im dying inside knowing she is in pain and I cant help. I just want to be with her. Take care of her. Make her smile and help her love life again. I would do anythibg for her. She inspires me and makes my life so much brighter. Please give me some advice

Category: asked February 24, 2015

2 Answers

to be honest it does sound like shes confused between the two of you, I know its a bit late and hope everything is ok now. I would say just as much as you love her remember that her head isn't going to be in the right frame of mind all the time if she and anxiety ect. so she may say or do things she doesn't mean or is confused about. like not texting you or asking you for sex straight away. by the sounds of it though her coming back to you after going back to him does say that she does see something in you that isn't there with him so don't loose hope xxx
It sounds to me like she isn't ready for a relationship. I know you care for her a lot but as you said, you're not sure if she just wants you or just the affection you provide for her. I think that's spot on. You cannot save her though. I think she needs outside help from a neutral party. I think it was wise of you to hold off on the sex. I think it's sweet how much you care. Sometimes just being someone's friend is the wiser/more loving choice.