Can you get over Virginitiphobia

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Okay so me and a friend recently realized that we probably have Virginitiphobia. We were bored and looked up my rape story and stuff, then I was having like weird day dreams, how this can easily happen. Like 5 guy’s coming in a assaulting us, etc.
I’ve never been raped or sexually assaulted. It’s just weird. We are really freaked out and need advise on how we can cure this. We do not wanna tell our parents, family, friends, or even strangeres, but we have no were else to turn.

Category: asked January 5, 2014

3 Answers

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Hey Sparklingtree,

It's actually not too unreasonable to have this fear. Although, there are alarming statistics to prove that rape crimes happen pretty often, the same statistics show that getting randomly assaulted by a pack of guys is really small.

Whether this makes things better or worse, here are the statistics http://www.rainn.org/statistics?gclid=CKvvrrfl5rsCFS4aOgodVFsATw

2 of 3 cases involve people that know the victims.

On the bright side, if you're vocal enough and you have people who really care about you. You can count 66.666% out. For the other 33.333% carry pepper spray :)

Sorry if this isn't really helpful, but this is what I would tell a friend if I was really worried for their safety.
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Hello Sparklingtree,It is understandable to have that fear, i have the same fear. I am a survivor. As inkhryptedQuery stated it is unlikely for a random pack of guys forcing themselves on you two. My advice would be to recognize that it can happen and take safety precautions(like deadbolting the door, keeping a baseball bat by your bed or if your in public carry a small pocket knife and pepper spray) to prevent it from happening, but don't let the fear drive you crazy. Try taking a self defense class, so you are confident that you can defend yourself.
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I understand the fear of rape (I'm a guy who's been raped) but I'm not going to address that element of your question because that's already been addressed by others but virginitiphobia? Honestly it's such a common thing to be apprehensive about sex putting a label on it is pointless and just going to freak you out more. Thing is, you may eventually be with the right person and want to have sex or you'll never want to have sex regardless of who you're with or how wonderful they may be. There's no rush to have sex or discover your sexuality. It's okay to not want to have sex, not everyone has sex and not everyone has a sex drive. It can be a matter of age, experience or maturity or it may just be the way you are. Maybe do some research on asexuality it may or may not apply to you but its worth a shot (you'll be surprised how many people identify as asexual).