Can you be friends when you both love each other ?


We’re both 19 right now and we choose to thrive as individuals along side each other. What we feel indefinitely is love. Thing is he is very career oriented and wants to become a doctor.

Update: my boyfriend and i just broke up. Ive asked him to think about it. And hes been torn and saying “idk”.

As of right now he said his instinct is to love me and be with me and kiss me etc. But he thinks that it wont last. He thinks that this is just what he feels right now in the moment.

He says he feels different this year. Like hes switching to work mode and school mode. He’s extremely career oriented and always wanted to help people to the best of his ability. Seriously. Always. He says that even if he can lie to himself that he loves his (hypothetical future) children more or me more it won’t be true. He says he might feel like he wants to be at work more than he wants to be at home.

He finds that this is unfair towards me and wants to break it off and remain friends. He’s completely convinced He’s always going to love me. Now. 5 years form now. And 10 and more. But yet he says he doesnt want a relationship. Like at all. No friendships. No other women. Just me or no one. (We’ve been best friends for nearly 4 or 5 years now & dated for 3) .. he says that if he decides in the future that he wants to be in a relationship, he’ll definitely tell me.

I just sobbed in his arms not long ago. He left my house bc his dad needed the car. But i feel like a lot of me understands where hes coming from. He also assures he he wants to be there to comfort me and make me happy… that he’ll be here if i need to vent and stuff. But still…

Everyone keeps telling me “youre young” “you’ll be fine”. I KNOW. im young. But i dont feel fine. I feel like I’ll eventually feel… content and accept my loss. But I dont think ill get over him in 2 or 3 years. Everytime i see him i just want to hold his face and kiss him.

I dont know what to feel or think right now because I feel unstable.
I thank you all in advance for any advice or tips or similar stories. I hope you all have a good day!!

Category: Tags: asked August 28, 2015

2 Answers

You need to allow yourself space to heal, if he isn't going to make the commitment to you he can't expect you to wait 5 or 10 years for him to realise he wants you, breakups are terrible and even more so seeing as youve been together for a while, but he's made his choice and you need to let yourself recover instead of holding onto the hope of getting back together which is what being friends would do; allow you to hold on, which is just going to lead to hurt if and when he moves on later in the future. My messages are open if you need someone to talk to, chin up you're going to get past this x
I love storie like these, because it shows what masculine power truly is. The truth is he loves you and he means what he says . But his purpose in his life is greater than you and its because he feels that is what he was born to do. That is what you love about him also. If you truly love him, youre going to let him go and let him fulfill his goals. Yall will be friends, but yall will also love each other because of yalls connection. There are going to be people you meet in your life that you are just going to just click with. Its one of the best feelings in the world, isnt it? As hard as it is, you have to be happy for him and encourage him to follow his dreams. And you should do the same also. True love supports and compliments you, not complete you.