Break up or not?


I have a really good boyfriend. He’s always there for me, he’s funny and we have really good sex. He’s from a different country so he moved to live with me while I finish high school. He’s a lot older than I and has money so he pays for the apartment and a lot of other stuff. I’m not sure if I’m in love with him, I’ve never been in love before so idk what that’s like. When we started dating I didn’t have any feelings for him at all and I didn’t care if he would go home, but then I started liking him more, but I never really had the bubbly-crush feeling that I’ve had before. We moved in together very quickly and we do everything together so I haven’t really had time to think about things. Sometimes I think I might be in love after all and sometimes I don’t. A few days ago I was sure I had to break up with him but now I don’t know. He’s my best friend so I don’t want him to move away and I do love him but I don’t think I’m very attracted to him. I don’t know what to do because I want to be independent and single but I don’t want him to move away, I need his support since I have a lot of problems and I’m scared that I will regret it if I break up with him, and I would also feel guilty since he moved here for me .

Category: Tags: asked January 9, 2015

3 Answers

Clearly you have feelings for him, otherwise you wouldn't be asking what to do in the first place. Relationships can be a scary thing, especially if its you're first relationship and love. I think it's impossible for anyone on here to tell you if you should break up or not, unless the relationship is in an abusive state which I hope it isn't. The main thing is that you recognize yourself that you consider him a friend, even a best friend and that can very well be a sign you may "love" this person. Obviously you care for him and don't necessarily want to lose him. You, yourself can only decide if the relationship is right for you. Does he make you happy, do you love him, and does he love you? Do you meet eachothers needs? Does he make you feel safe? Those are just some key questions to ask yourself. Never the less, if you decide you don't want to be in the relationship, never feel guilty. You must do what is best for you as a person. I wish you the best of luck and all the best in whatever decision you make.
If you break up now, you could be throwing the baby out with the bathwater. If you're scared that you will regret it, then it probably isn't a good idea to do it. I suggest you stay with him for the time being. Remember, there's nothing stopping you from breaking up at a future date.
You need to be open and honest about your feelings. For your sake and his. You will never truly find happiness if you stay with someone you aren't even sure you want to be with. You can love someone without being in love with them. Break ups are never easy, but if this is truly how you feel, I think you should talk and express how you are feeling. So you can figure out what you want with yourself, life, and your relationships. You don't want to stay with someone just because they are older and have money. Not saying that is WHY you are, but trust me, money does not buy happiness. Neither does good sex, unfortunately. Be true to yourself. Do what you feel you need and want to do deep down. Don't trap yourself in a place you don't really want to be. You'll regret it much later. Seeing him go will be hard, especially if you guys are close friends, but it will be even harder if you stay in a relationship you don't even really want. You'll forever be tormenting yourself wondering what else life could be. So talk to him. Let him know how you are feeling. No way of dodging the hurt, but needs to be done. BUT, also don't do anything you may regret. Don't let someone good go just because you are curious. That isn't a good idea either! Talk and see where it goes. Whatever you decide, make sure it's for the RIGHT reasons. Don't make a decision based on all of the wrong reasons. Good luck to you, friend.