boyfriend has bipolar and adhd! help


So me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 ½ years, ive just turned 19 and hes 19 in 2 months. He has bipolar and adhd and this causes many issues in our relationship. He is very paranoid, angry, irritable, impatient, sensitive and manipulative!!!! and this has caused many arguments, getting angry very quickly! Calling me names! Sayings he breaking up with me! Making me cry! Eve on my birthday 2 years running ☹ he has only recently been dignosed with these and is on ritalin for adhd which has helped him a lot with his school work and not getting angry at much as he used to, still a lot! Things were really good between us, apart from when he was angry! But recently he was depressed, I didn’t realise tho, because when he spoke to me he was fine!! But he would get angry like all the time!! All the time!!! I would cry everyday!!! Till one day I just couldn’t do it (and this has happened before, but ive given him chances, because I love him!) so I told my parents, because I keep all his rude and angry things he does to myself, I don’t tell anyone, I cry quietly in my room. And they said this has to stop, because they can see what he does to me, how I will be upset, how I wont go out with my friends (because he has stopped me) how I will facetime him for hours (not that I don’t like it, but if I say no, even when im busy, he will get upset = argument) I will do anything to prevent an argument and when he is argue, I will take the blame in order to stop the argument. So I don’t know what to do! Ive given him loads of chances and I love him so much and we have been thru so much together, but he cant keep treating me like this and ive said that many times and ive asked him to try sort things out with my parents, but he wont!! Hes extremely stubborn, he only does things if he wants to, not because it’s the right thing to do! Im going to uni soon and I don’t want to be on edge all the time, I don’t want to not do things because hes stopping me! I don’t want to be crying all the time, when hes depressed! Even tho I love him, I need to start thinking about myself and as much as it will kill me to leave him and im crying now just thinking about it! I feel it’s the right thing to do ☹ he will think I don’t care and love him of course ☹ but I do! Ive done so much for him!!! And I wouldn’t have done that if I didnt love him!

Category: asked February 19, 2015

1 Answer

Honey! I'm going through something very simular right now. My fiancee is Bipolar and Im ADD. The hardest thing with my man is his mood swings... and he's very insecure about himself and his feelings because of his condition. He says he loves me one minuet then starts screaming at me the next about something dumb... the advice i can give to you is just to be patient with him... and keep in mind it is NOT your fault he is acting this way, its not even his fault. Self blame is the hardest thing to get over... The other thing is PRAISE the good times you have with him and the good days he's having. When hes having a bad day, dont run away from him, give him a hug and remind him that you will always be there for him and that he is a good person dispite his problems. Dont give up hope if you really love him dear. There are support groups for people that have loved ones with mental ilnesses, that are compleltly free to go to! there might be a group called N.A.M.I in your area, i'd look into it! they have a group for your boyfriend to go to and a group for you to go to to talk about your struggles as girlfriend. ive been to one of these groups, and it totally changed my point of view on my fiancee, and it helped him realize that he really needed help too!best of luck!