bottling it all up?

So recently I’v been bottling up a lot of things that have been bothering me to the point i dont even talk to my Best friends about things. And that is kinda causing issues because i have nothing really good to talk about..and if i dont talk about the things that are bothering me or the shit in my life, the conversations kinda go them talking about them and then when their done we just sit there quietly for a long time till they ask whats up with me and i say something like “nothing much” or just revert the subject back to them. Eventually after a long silence, they just kinda “alrighty, imma go, talk later” and i go back to being lonely. Its not that i dont like being alone. I mean I dont fantasize about it all the time but i do like my alone time..its that im shutting down even with them. My best friend of 10 years and my other best friend of 1 year and some odd.. I honestly dont have a lot of friends which i am very much fine with. too many i really cant handle. i really cant. I dont wish to have more friends, I just dont want to close up on the ones i have.
so in short; how do i open up again to them? Please dont say “just talk to them” Because thats the issue How do i reopen? how do i tell them whats wrong? How do i talk to them about anything? I dont want to lose them right now, i dont know…But i know this is the first step in losing a friend. Advice?

asked October 24, 2014

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Mind, Body, and Soul.

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4 Answers

It sounds like they are picking up that something is wrong. I completely understand the avoidance. I myself feel that way most of the time. I feel like if I shift the focus off of me, I wont have to face my problems. The only way you can open up to your friends is to open up to yourself. Ask yourself questions. Take a note pad and form some interview questions, then answer those. You will often find you already have the answer. But the first thing you have to do is be honest with yourself about what is really going on.

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need

Tell them what you just told us :)

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Scott

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from someone who does the exact same thing as you if you honestly just tell them that you're just having trouble opening up they should understand. it's all about baby steps, start off small and then eventually you'll surprise yourself and one day start talking about what's wrong. it's a gradual process, but admitting that you don't want to bottle it up anymore is the first initiative.

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mgr

You can't solve your problems in a day, but you can distract yourself with something to take your mind off your stress, and to give you something to talk about. Every relationship can get kinda stale, and if you go on and on about your problems your friends can get tired of your company. Your right to not want to overload them, but you should tell them what you told us and then PLAN to something together..like a movie, exercising together, read the same books and review them..it gives you something to talk about. I have been in your shoes, and the best thing I did was to get moving ( exercise, party a little, movie time, game nights..your choosing...Basically you wanna make yourself interesting again..kinda like dating, keep it new and fresh sometimes...that way your sad stuff isn't a burden on everyone ( not that your a burden, but you know what I mean)

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Autumn Leaf

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