Being Ignored for My Sister’s Wedding (Plus Chronic Health Problems Not Being Addressed)


My sister is 5 and a half years older than me. She’s 22 and I am currently 16. She’s only my half sister (my dad adopted her) but I’ve never known her as anything but a sister. We get along pretty well for the most part, but we do fight. I get pretty good grades in high school, but she didn’t and ended up dropping out of college and then basically running away from home after my parents found out that she hadn’t been in college for about six months and they had been paying for her lunch and gas money to get to and from school. I’ve done stupid things too, don’t get me wrong, but I have not gotten into nearly as much trouble as she has. We come from a middle class family too so it’s not like we’re dirt poor.

My sister got engaged on 11/11/11 and they planned to have the wedding the summer of 2014. Then her best friend got married and she got really excited and moved it up to July 2013. Ever since that (June 2012) my parents have kind of set me aside to pay for anything and everything my sister wanted for her wedding. I’ve now been wearing the same pair of shoes, same shorts, and I have literally one bra since June of 2012, which is over a year ago now. Let’s keep in mind that I play sports too. My tennis racket had broken wires when tennis season rolled around. I couldn’t even ask for a cheap one. They flat out said “Why should we have to buy you one? Can’t you get your own money from somewhere?” So I ended up having to borrow money from a friend (since I couldn’t have a job then) to buy a $10 racket that fell apart within weeks.
Then we move on to lacrosse season. My school started a girl’s lacrosse team 2 years ago and I decided to join the second year (this past school year). I had never played before so I needed equipment (totaling about $250-$300). My dad said “That’s ridiculous. Why would I buy so much for something you’ve never done.” The only reason I got to play was because my boyfriend covered the two most expensive things (a stick and cleats) because he knew how much I wanted to play. I currently have one pair of shorts that fits. I have plenty of shirts because I need to replace the ripped ones during winter via cheap stores that I can afford with once a month babysitting. I have serious back and neck problems (the kind preventing me from playing lacrosse this summer) due to the fact that I sleep on a 20 year old mattress because they won’t buy me a new one. They bought my sister an apartment and it’s furnishings. I’ve been taken to a doctor once to have my back looked at. He prescribed pain killers and weekly therapy so I won’t have permanent damage but they threw that away and said I was fine.
I live where it gets really cold so I needed a winter coat. I didn’t even have one until Christmas (in the middle of winter) because they wouldn’t buy it unless it was a present yet my sister got her venue and reception hall for her wedding, her dress, food for the wedding, cake, and plenty of “house warming gifts”.

I may seem spoiled, but I don’t mean too. This is becoming a health issue now. I’ve developed flat feet, chronic back and neck issues, and a severe lung problem (torn lung) that was caused by a check in lacrosse. It needs medical attention or it will take over 10 months to heal. I just don’t understand why all of a sudden I have been put on the back burner to take care of my sister’s wedding.

Category: asked June 19, 2013

2 Answers

I've heard of favoritism, but this is insane. The way they are treating you is, especially concerning your health,at the very least neglect, and may or may not be illegal depending on where you live. If your medical issues become damaging, you might even look into some kind of legal action, whether it be a legal or criminal suit. At any rate, you should get out of that situation as quickly as possible.
My heart goes out to you; that is a really awful situation. I hope you get out of it soon, one way or another. Until then, there are some things that can help with some of the physical effects of your parents' neglect. Without knowing exactly what you have, I can't suggest anything but there are literally millions of people who may be able to suggest stretches and exercises for your back without your parents paying. Ask around; you might have a friend whose mom is a physical therapist, or your boyfriend may be friendly with the personal trainers at his gym or something like that.