Asexual partner?

0

I’m a heterosexual male who very much has sexual urges, and I very much love my current girlfriend who I found out to be asexual. I love her and respect her so much, and will never do anything that will make her uncomfortable, and I’m extremely happy without the sex aspect, but at the same time, it’s difficult having these urges and feelings that I know will never be reciprocated. How should I deal with this?

Category: Tags: asked October 13, 2014

3 Answers

0
You should definitely discuss this with your partner in detail. Asexuality means your partner does not have sexual feelings at all (as I'm sure you are well aware). It will be up to the two of you to figure out what to do, but it is understandable that you would feel frustration. Just be sure to reassure your partner that you do not intend to make her uncomfortable, but want to find a way to deal with your feelings as well.
0
Wow, I feel like I'm on the other side of this. I am an asexual with a sexual partner. I am unable to feel sexual, but sometimes, I am able to feel sensual. Which means, kissing, cuddling, hugging is enjoyable to me and that is how intimate we can only get.
0
I'm asexual too, and I completely agree. Beyond that, I also severely dislike physical contact, but I still enjoy hugging, cuddling, etc., provided I trust the person enough. There is also a separate thing that many ace people have, where they have sexual feelings (like from reading smut fanfiction or something) but no desire to actually do the act themselves. Make of that what you will.>> And (I can't speak for others) but as an ace, the knowledge that someone else has sexual feelings for me (assuming we're in a relationship) wouldn't bother me at all, if that's what you're worried about.>>Talking it out is usually the best thing, to make sure both sides are on the same page. Just be clear about not 'expecting' her to change or anything along the lines of 'getting there some day' because that's probably an asexual person's greatest fear in a relationship. And if there ever is a day when she reciprocates those urges/feelings, it does not mean that she will again later.