as long as im happy


So I’m talking to my ex of almost 3years we took a break because I’m 18 he’s 19 we were together for a long time and we needed a break to see if we really want to be together still.. and we are talking now and my parents are really mad about it but as long as I’m happy they should be happy right?? Is there a way that I can tell them that I’m happy and its making me not want to talk to them because they are all pussy because I’m finally happy…. I just want me to be happy and them bf happy
Oh yea and my brothers (my only siblings) love him so do my uncles cousins and my aunt just my parents and they are totally ruining my happiness by being pussy about me and him talking
Oh they are pass because my mom thinks he is using me as a rebound even after he sat down and talked to them and told them that he really wants to be with me and a bunch of stuff like that

Category: Tags: asked August 26, 2014

4 Answers

Hey, Megan

Firstly - glad you're happy, dear. :)

Second - sounds like your parents are just worried about your happiness - only they are thinking long-term and are afraid you may not be considering the future. It's a thing most parents worry about, largely because most kids don't really think too much about the future; where that starts to be more of a problem between the parents and their kids is when the kids are right on the cusp of or in the beginning of adulthood. At that point, the kids are (hopefully) more mature and thoughtful in general - but the parents aren't really used it yet.

Think about it; after you've spent years guiding, protecting and generally looking after this VIP in your life, it can be a little tough to let go and recognize that they might no longer need you to be quite that involved - and may even misinterpret it as controlling or as a lack of trust.

Okay; that covers their end - what about yours? I think that Alexander, Seven Legends and Madeleine all made good points/suggestions: the relationship not working out the first time is probably contributing to their concern and they might not be automatically happy because you are if they think they see you in a potentially harmful situation that you seem not to realize is potentially harmful - so show them. Understanding and keeping in mind where they're coming from can help you feel better about the situation, and seeing you handle it in a manner that reflects that understanding can make them feel better about it - and is likely to make them back off. As they see that you continue to be happy in the relationship, that your boyfriend is not in some way damaging you, and that you still respect their position as your parents and appreciate their concern instead of arguing or yelling, they will probably realize that while you're still their baby :) ,you're not A baby anymore. This will likely not only make them feel pleased and proud (which can only be good for everybody :) ), but also move them to give you more space.

Hope this is helpful, Megan - good luck!

it sounds like they dont know the cercumstances to me, in their eyes they see you had a relationship, that for some reason didnt go well and now you are getting back together? and its raising red flags for them, that is just one possibility though, it also seems to me that you have tried to talk to them, i cant tell you how to convince them, but maybe if you got him and those who support the relationship in the family to talk to them. there are alot of different ways to go about it. if you are happy in a since they should be happy, but by that logic, if a child is happy doing drugs, shouldnt the parents be happy for the child? i know that is far more extreme than the situation but it;s to get you also thinking from thier point of view. if you can understand how they think then you can better convince them
Sit them down and talk to them again, everything from start to finish. Perhaps your ex could be there as well. Show them how happy you are, and that you're taking it slow.

The most important thing is that you are happy, and it may take a while before your parents accept that, but they will come around, sooner or later. Just keep on showing them how serious you are about this relationship. And try to keep in mind that they do what the best for you, which is why the worry way more than they should, it's a parent thing. But in the end, it'll work out.
Being happy is not always the most important thing. Sometimes being happy now will hurt a person in the long run, so it's better to avoid it. Like the others have said, if they are not seeing how it is really right to be with him, then it is better to show them or try to help them see as best you can by discussing it with them. But parents are smart, usually plenty wiser than us, so knowing what they say can be a lot better than trying to do our own thing a lot of the time. Maybe they know things we don't know. Either way, it's best to come to some sort of understanding if you can, because it's always better when people aren't fighting or disagreeing over something important. I hope everything works out for you and you are happy for a long time in the future.