Aren’t siblings supposed to help you?


My older brother, aged 17, knows that I am going through depression, and such. But, he continues to hurt me emotionally and physically. I know that my question isn’t always the case, but I would think older siblings would understand it better than a 10 year old would..

Category: asked July 29, 2014

3 Answers

If your brother is abusing you, then you need to tell your parents or a trusted adult. Don't expect abusive people to help you, even if they are family.
You brother might not know that he's doing anything wrong. When you've known someone for a while, niceties and politeness tend to be dropped (you'll shake your boss' hand when you greet them, but you wouldn't greet a close friend the same way). In the extreme case of siblings, it's very easy to do and say mean things without noticing.The way to solve this problem is through communication. Tell your brother when something he says hurts your feelings, and establish what you're both okay with. I call my little brother a loser pretty often, but he and I are both okay with that because I've made it clear that I'm using it as an affectionate term and I don't really think he's a loser.One thing to remember is that it's natural for siblings to get on each other's nerves for the sake of getting on each other's nerves. You both just need to make sure you know where the line is drawn between joking around and being hurtful.
Unfortunately, family is not perfect. Family members are people just like any other people and that means that they all have flaws, and some of them are not very nice or very good people. Ideally, yes, a sibling would help you. However it doesn't seem like your brother is doing that, and whether that's just because he doesn't know the damage he's doing or because he's just not very nice, you should address it. My brother is younger but only by a year and a half, he's sixteen, and despite my extensive struggles with depression, anxiety, and panic issues, he tends to not always be very nice and supportive either. Siblings can be great, but they can also be not so great. If he's acting in a damaging fashion, please inform someone, your parents or a therapist, anyone. Address the problem. Find out whether its intentional or he's hurting you without meaning to and try to do something about it.