Approaching Women when you are shy

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I need some advice, everyone. I’m really shy and have a really hard time talking to women beyond small talk or even just approaching them. I freeze up and get tongue-tied. I am actually looking to start dating but find my shyness a huge hindrance. Any advice?

Category: asked April 16, 2014

8 Answers

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hey thanks for replying to my question :-) did a little research for you and found this funny helpful article maybe you havent read it here's the link.http://www.buzzfeed.com/ariannarebolini/9-foolproof-flirting-tips-for-the-socially-awkward
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Shyness with girls is tough; I feel for you brother. But girls can be shy too, and some are stuck with the cultural baggage that makes them wait to be asked. Are you missing queues from these girls? Reevaluate the landscape so to speak, do not obsess, and do not creep the girls out.We fellows can get really obsessed by passing beauty, probably it once made some evolutionary sense, but it's fickle and unreliable nowadays. Consider how variable looks can be based on mood, place, and quirky circumstances. Consider also that we get to appreciate their beauty whether in a relationship or not. If you get caught staring or gazing, smile genuinely and silently shrug, and maintain eye contact. She may break eye contact, let her go. But, if she holds eye contact, immediately go over and say "hi."My suggestion is to act and not to over think. Acknowledge shyness exists, but resolve it doesn't have to rule your actions. Then act.
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I've had similar issues when I was younger. The key is not caring (about being rejected that is), which is a lot harder than it sounds like. Still, I can give you some basic tips which might work.

1. Read This guide to flirting, because it'll help you a lot more than most 'helpful advice' from others. It's completely free and in fact based on scientific observation.

2. Body language. Altering your posture will not only make you seem more confident, but it will actually help you be more confident in the long run. Basic things to watch are how you sit (straight up, shoulders slightly back, chin up) and how you walk (shoulders slightly back, eyes in front of you and not on the floor unless there is a legitimate danger of falling, semi-long strides if possible). Use eye-contact, but not constantly. I think more examples of this are mentioned in the guide.

3. Practice. Start talking to people. It's as simple (and difficult) as that. In a mall, on the bus - whatever. Just get into the habit of talking to girls and women. It doesn't have to be flirty, just start with regular conversation. It'll decrease anxiety and make it easier to transition to light flirting banter (ex. compliments on how she looks) - this isn't something you only have to do with girls or women you find attractive, either. If nothing else, some minor flirting will usually brighten a person's day.
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You can approach and ask for the time or anything that you're using that may help you. I for instance flirt with the lighter excuse, I have a cigarette and even though I have a lighter and I see someone cute smoking I just ask them for it and they actually bring on the small talk as for (Nice shoes, you smoke that kind of brand?) kind of thing. So, you can always ask for the time as an excuse and hide your watch and you start asking them questions like thanks! and how are you? you seem kind of (whatever feeling you're getting from them) and so on so forth.
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Honestly, most women are flattered that you'd even talk to them. The ones who have been screwed over by there ex's are really picky and mean. So if you approach someone who ends up being mean, be happy because you don't have to deal with their baggage. So just approach, nothing to be afraid of
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Hey thanks, everyone! There is actually a girl I want to approach, I hope I see her today or tomorrow and I can put some of your advice to use! Thank you all! :)
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Shyness can be terrible. A trick I use is just going for it, don't even think about it until after its done, because if you think about it too much you'll convince yourself to not do it. Use a quick conversation starter then just stick with it and be your real self. If they laugh or do anything cruel, they aren't good for ya anyways.
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Confidence is key.

Nobody ever timidly stumbled into success. At some point, you are going to have to work up the courage to just talk to women. If you cannot communicate, how do you expect to present to a potential partner that you are reliable for support when times get tough? Hugs and sensitivity only take you so far, however good they look on your boyfriend resume.

You're going to have to breathe slow and deep, calm your anxiety and assert with yourself "I am going to talk to people and get over this anxiety. I am going to improve my social skills."