When was the last time you saw a doctor? I haven’t seen a doctor since I was around twelve years old with the exception of seeing a gynecologist for a total of ten minutes in order to get birth control when I was seventeen years old. I’m now twentyone, I’ve been married for over three years now and I’ve been sexually active for about four years. My mom used to bug me to see a gynecologist -or just a doctor in general- but kind of gave up after a while when she realized her attempts were useless. I have too much anxiety to even call to make an appointment with a doctor… I don’t even have a doctor! Anyway, I’ve decided to make an appointment with the gyno because I’ve very recently realized that I may have cervical cancer. Cancer unfortunately runs rampant in my mother’s side of the family -including cervical cancer. I’ve always had a feeling since I was a child that I’d eventually end up diagnosed; it was less of an “if” and more of a “when.” I have a couple symptoms of cervical cancer, including the discomfort in the pelvic region which I believe is the most common symptom. I’m so incredibly worried about having cancer, I cry about it and I can’t sleep at night. I haven’t told anyone that I’m suspicious and worried, not even my husband. I would tell my mother but her sister just died last month and she’s attending her memorial this week, and I just don’t want to tell her that I think I may have cancer. I just feel so overwhelmed. And stupid and irresponsible for not seeing a doctor regularly. I feel like I’ve failed as an adult.
