I just don’t feel like going out anymore … I love my friends so much and it sounds silly but i feel like when i hang out with a group of people any time i leave the room they’re going to talk about me, and i say this is silly because i know they wouldn’t do it but i just always feel that way no matter what .. so i try to avoid going places with people … Also any time I’m somewhere all i can think about is going home and sitting in my room and listening to music by myself ..
you are definitely not the only one. Everybody needs some alone time every now and again and that is perfectly fine. I honestly doubt your friends are talking about you behind your back. a good way to find that out is if when another friend leaves the room do you all talk about him/her right away? if you all do then you probably should find new friends who you can be yourself with. Its okay to want to be alone but you also need to become secure with yourself and realize that if your worried about what your friends say about you then when strangers look at you a weird way you beat yourself up about it and that is no way to live. youre not the only one just try to talk to you friends, spend one on one time with each of them so then you can feel more comfortable around them.
But you probably think this because you see that behavior in your friends already and you figure...if they talk about 'x' then why wouldn't they talk about me? Pretty logical thought I'd say.... but really I wouldn't suggest you worry about the "talking behind my back" b/c the truth is ... you cant stop it no matter what you do or don't do. Plus our friends/family/ourselves aren't perfect...secret is... you can still love them all. As far as the thoughts of isolation, try to remember all the good things you get with communal experiences -- those have alot of value too. I'm a fan of alone time and group time. I think a healthy balance is key and if your thinking you do more of one or the other then you probably are. Talk to someone you trust and know will not gossip... you'd be surprised a little thing like that will help immensely.
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