Anxiety and boys help???


I have real bad anxiety and there’s a guy I like so much and I’ve never liked a guy like this before and I’ve never made an effort to talk to someone before coz I’ve always been too scared, but I really like him a lot and I’ve been taking baby steps but nothing will happen like this and I’m trying so hard but I get bad adrenaline and I’m so over this I just want to have a conversation with him. Please help! (I’m 16 and I know I’m young don’t bother bringing that up)

Category: Tags: asked March 5, 2015

5 Answers

Well, as you’re saying: since you suddenly feel the need to change yourself and go a bit further to get his attention, he is probably a pretty great guy that means a lot to you. I get that it might seem completely terrifying to suddenly open up like that, but would’t how great he is at least make it worth a shot?
I’ve got admit that I have no real solution to your problem, but perhaps you could just attempt to decide that “I AM going to talk to him today. I’m going to be charming as hell and get his attention”. You’ve probably already been through such periods where you act really, really confident to get rid of the anxiety, and have probably also realised that even though you want to, that isn’t always as easy as it seems… But just make up your mind, know that you want to open up BECAUSE you know that in the long run it will most likely make you happier. As soon as those negative thoughts starts appearing, you could try to challenge them as much as you possibly can. “I might embarrass myself” Yes, but you MIGHT also make the greatest relationship ever. “He probably doesn’t even like me” Perhaps not, but what if he does? Being an organisation freak, myself, I always find it useful to write everything down (literally every single though that pops up. Literally.). List up the thoughts and how you would challenge them, and physically see that there might actually be a bright side to it all, as well.
Finally I think it is important to remember that very few of us are able to read minds or constantly know how to act in every single situation. Perhaps especially since I’m guessing you’re both sixteen? People can seem so confident and have these awesome comebacks when they're in their teens, but most of the time this is just words, isn’t it? I’m eighteen myself and I feel like this has been the case since we were around thirteen, maybe. Honestly it is probably going to continue to be this way until we get old enough to just stop caring so damn much how people view us.
I really do hope you manage to find a way to get to know him better. Worst case scenario: it turns out he doesn’t like you like that, but at least you did something incredible, considering your anxiety disorder; The outcome will be good no matter what, really. Best of luck!
(By the way, I don’t think sixteen isn’t too young in any way. Seriously: take it from a professional crusher: I’ve been crushing on boys since I was, like, four years old.)
Try to slowly but surely get into his circle of friends, approach him a tad bit more. Simple things like a wave, smile or just saying "Hi" or "Good morning" to him in the hallways will make clear that you like him/have a friendly attitude towards him. Try to find ways to get closer to him, is it realistic for you to travel to/from school along the same route? Is it possible to sit closer to him during classes?My reaction to your question is: Is he a shy guy or a leader-type guy? Because this can impact his reaction. If he is a shy guy he will most likely react uncomfortable at first, being a shy guy myself I know. If he starts to loosen up a bit and reacts positive it's possible that you will have to take the first step but that's something you have to wait for. If he does not open up in a week or two and if he still reacts uncomfortable he might not be interested and you should stop trying as to avoid you both ending up feeling very uncomfortable about each other. If he is a leader-type guy he will most likely react direct on your signs. Either giving away he likes/agrees with it or giving away he is not interested. If he likes it he will most likely take the first step. If he doesn't, same goes for the shy-guy. Good luck and feel free to ask me about those things on Skype or in personal chats.
The more you practice being courageous, the more you will be. Fake it till you make it! I know it can be scary to jump into boy/girl issues and try to tell someone how you feel, but if you dont express how you feel, you may be missing an opportunity that you'll never get back. Every time you have enough courage to have a conversation, speak your mind, or do whatever, you are getting better and better at doing it. Take it all as a learning experience. Be safe!!! M
First off, how you are feeling is very common. Give yourself some slack. It is ok to feel nervous about a guy that you have a strong crush on. You should take it slowly. Like that others have said, you should say hi first and try to communicate with him (small talk). If you are way too nervous about it, it may help if you bring a trusted friend who will stand some feet away. You just need to take your time. There is no rush.
”We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” – A.Einstein