Am I wrong to be so angry??


This is serious I want to know if I am wrong for this. Okay so my brother is in the military. He has changed a lot and became more arrogant. I think he is a different person than before. So his base is only like 2-3 hours away. The past several months that my brother has came up to visit the city he stays with one of his family members including me and doesn’t even spend time with us. Instead he hangs with his friends all day till night and do it all over again until he needs to leave back to base. Well the thing is that he always asks us to pick him up and to take him back. He has been using us. I didn’t want to tell him anything b/c I was afraid I was going to regret it & him not talk to me and get deployed. Well today is fathers day. He begged my dad, my mom, and I to come get him. He said he really wanted to spend time with my dad. He insisted that he missed my dad and want to see him. Keep in mind that my dad has been sad because my brother doesn’t contact him about how he’s doing or anything and one time he came to the city without letting my parents know he was there. They missed him so much but he was staying at a gf house and didn’t even bother to talk to my parents. So anyways my brother asks and none of us binge because we all know what he was going to do. My dad wanted to get him but his car broke down. My brother finds a way to come up here through the bus. Well he ends up coming here and stayed with my mom. This morning I went to my dad’s place to go see him and wanted to take him out somewhere for breakfast. My father said he wanted to wait for my brother. I came around 9 am. We all waited for my brother for like 3 hours because he didn’t come until 11 am almost 12 pm. When my brother arrives we went to eat at red lobster. On the way in the restaurant my brother tells my dad how he needs to be somewhere at 1:30 pm. Later that I found out he needs to go see his girlfriend for her birthday. (Remember my dad hasn’t seen him since last year and hasn’t talked to him in the phone for months.) I get upset and tell my brother oh I didn’t know she was SOOOO important. The whole time my brother was there he tells my dad how he needs to see his gf and how early he needs to leave to see her. He doesn’t even try to have a conversation. My dad I can see in his eyes he’s heartbroken and trying to keep his composure. My brother orders water and an appetizer. Then leaves and hesitated to pay for my dad’s meal. Like he didn’t want to but finally makes up his mind. He literally runs out the door. He basically stayed for like 20 mins maybe even less. It didn’t take long for an appetizer to come to our table. My dad tells me that he needs to go to the restroom because there something stinging his eye. I know my dad was lying and I know he went in there to cry. It breaks my heart. I am so mad at my brother. Sadly it doesn’t end there when my brother was leaving he told my dad he will be back to see him to spend the rest of the day with him. I been with my dad all day. He didn’t come back. When we left the restaurant and when I went back to his place I asked him if he wanted to go somewhere like the mall or something. He told me no because he wanted to wait for my brother. We waited there for hours and hours. Then my dad got sad and he didn’t want to cry in front of me. He started drinking. I left to get my sister from work and when I come back he’s completely drunk. I had to watch him for the rest of the day so I made sure he wouldn’t drink anymore. I blew up on my brother like I never ever did before and said some harsh things. I was so mad for what he did and even more mad when he didn’t answer his phone. SO I had to text everything that I need to say and even posted it on facebook. Am I wrong to be so enrage with this?? Like I been mad all day and even right now I can’t calm down….

Category: asked June 22, 2015

2 Answers

No, you are not wrong. I see your brother has been quite selfish about not spending time with your family, especially with your dad. I think you should seriously confront to him about it and to not use your parents just for transportation purposes. If your brother doesn't listen or even change the slightest bit, then I suggest that you should distance yourself and encourage your parents to not obey whatever he asks for because of his attitude. I also suggest that you and your sister comforts your father (and your mother if so) as much as you two can so that he doesn't get sad over missing your brother. But, it's important that you shake him hard and argue with him that he doesn't spend time with your family as much. This is the way I would personally handle it, if you don't think this is right then I suggest to not do it.
No, you have every right to feel exactly what you're feeling love. Your brother has been abusing your familiar connection, and yet doesn't seem to muster any effort to spend time with you. We all grow up and change is inevitable, as do our priorities. It's a question of wether we get them right.

I agree with the other person before me, you need to confront him about it, tell him how his behavior is affecting all of you. Just because what he's working towards is honorable, protecting his country and all that, does not excuse a person from being a jerk.