My mum is a teacher and has always been the strict kind, and since I was little I have always remembered her as being a bit pre-occupied or something… sorry I can’t really describe it. She’s always been overprotective as well though, so my childhood was very sheltered. And now, I’m 16 and I always feel this tension when I’m around her because I’m always scared that anytime I see her she might shout at me, try and guilt-trip me or confront me about something(which I need to explain – I had/still struggle with this eating disorder and I’ve had social anxiety pretty much my whole life, which I’ve never talked to her about because she and the rest of my family are the type of people who believe that mental disorders are ‘excuses’ and ‘make believe’).The most terrifying moments are when she gets home from work or when I hear her walking up the stairs – I sometimes wander whether she’s the one triggering my anxiety. I have barely any emotional connection with her (which even talking about is online is extremely uncomfortable and cringey,) and I can’t talk to her about anything because she always has this judge mental-looking frown.
Background Info: It’s always been me, my older sister and my mum, who has always been a single parent. We have never been ‘well-off’ and money problems have been getting worse.
i do believe that you are scared of your mom. When i was still living at home my mom was really intimidating also. I learned that she had to be a dominating personality because of the fact that she was a single parent struggling to raise three children. You need to have a talk with your mom even if you are scared it will really help both of you.
Why you are scared of your mom is a question you must answer but she might be intimidating just due to the fact that she is under SO much stress trying to feed multiple children with, now that you mention it, low wage. So take that into consideration and just talk to her about how you feel and if she ignores you go to a official (school maybe) and make them tell your mom that you might have anxiety. Good luck, and by the way, you are not pathetic, just going through a rough time, you will get through it!