About a week ago I was at the park with my best friend’s boyfriend when he slapped my butt. I was shocked and told him not to, so he, in turn, decided to grope me! I immediately felt unsafe so I left and went home. I told my friend what happened – she deserved the truth. She told me I was overreacting and trying to sabotage their relationship. We’ve been friends for 10 years and they’ve been dating 3 months.. She claims it’s not sexual assault because she trusts him. I’m uncomfortable with this situation and not sure what to do.
"When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't" - Louis C.K. You are not overreacting. You did not consent to him touching you and when he did so anyway and was told not to he did so again. He may have been joking and laughing as the above said but that doesn't mean you misread the situation as his intent doesn't dictate your response. That your friend does not recognise this is alarming. As for what you should do, you need not compromise on wanting to feel safe for the sake of your friendship. Either spend time with each other when he is not in your company or reevaluate whether she is a worthy friend.
Firstly talk to your bestfriend again and tell her how you feel about it . Make a point when there is trust and loyality making her blind in seeing the truth. If her boyfriends acts like that who know if he dosent do it to others . So where is that respect and loyality in this then .. and if it dosent work just go bash the sh** our of him .. i dont mean to be rude .. but that just disgusting and disrespect not only to you but to your best friend as well.. if i would be having my bf doing this he would be already a dead walking body. Tell him to keep hands to him self and to just back off..
Sabotage the relationship? That's overreacting from her but you weren't overreacting at all. If the guy was all laughing and joking maybe you misread the situation but if it was anything but then you did the right thing.
No, you aren't overreacting. Even if he was joking, he shouldn't have done it. He needs consent before doing something like that, and from what it sounds he didn't get it. You aren't overreacting in the slightest. If he continues to do that, take action.
Brutally honest : not over reacting at all. It seems she trust him blindly perhaps. I m not saying anything for sure but as much as you have written here it seems he is at fault but your friend is a bit too much trusting him. Of Course trust is necessary for the relationship but if she trusts someone who shouldn't be trusted that only means that she did not knew the guy completely. But anyway, you aren't at fault and no its not over reacting.
You would not have been beyond your rights to have filed sexual assault charges against that jerk. Your friend is still in the "honeymoon" phase of their relationship, so right now she would not believe anything bad about him even if she saw him do it with her own eyes. Give your friend some time, do not be around him again, and keep your story straight. She can't deny the truth forever.
This is in no way an overreaction. If something makes you uncomfortable, you have every right to express that. Even if others might think it is silly or petty, you get to decide what isn't ok for others to do to you. Try to remember that as you go through life.
You are the innocent one. If your friend chooses to believe his bullshit there is n't much that you can do about it. Just tell her that you are still her friend but you are not going to be with her when he is around. Assholes can't hide their nature forever, she will see how he is eventually.