Am i gender fluid or am i trans?


Hi im 14 and i have been trying to figure things out for the past 4 years i mean it really has been hard and i have thought it out im really sure im trans and for the past 4 years i have felt like a girl and sometimes i would do things like a girl it would feel comfortable and when i turned 13 i just felt weird about my body i really felt that i wasnt suppose to be in this body and for the past 6 months i have been having these dreams about me being a girl and when i would wake i cant describe the feeling but i didnt know what to do so i started to cut my self i mean i did it multiple times in one sitting but their small so i guess its okay so please help me because im really sure im trans or is this a normal “guy” thing

Category: Tags: asked June 10, 2015

1 Answer

Hey, now. Small, big, lots or few, all self harm is valid and a horrible thing to experience. No one deserves to feel like they need to hurt themselves. Please try to keep yourself from doing it again. You're worth more than that. It's not not worth it.

To your main question, from what you're describing to me, there's definitely a possibility that you are transgender. Typically, people don't experience this much distress over their gender unless theirs is different than what they've been bought up to believe (in your case, a male). In your title you ask "am I gender fluid or am I trans?" and I'm not sure if there is some confusion in terminology going on here. So, just to be clear: You're asking whether you are gender fluid-so in between or both boy and girl, or transgender- the other sex.

No one can really tell you 100% whether you are something or not because this is something you need to figure out yourself. To start, I think you need to ask yourself if you could ever truly live your life as a male. Imagine your life as a guy. Don't answer this straight away, really think about it. Give it a few days, a few weeks even if that's how long you need. Another question to ask is do you want to live your life as a female? Again, take your time. If you don't know the answer now, that's okay.

You say you do things "as a girl" and it feels comfortable, so why don't you explore that a little more. Do some more things you consider to be girl things and see how you feel.

Lastly, I recommend talking to other transgender people about how they figured out or knew they were transgender. You can start by looking for trans groups on BlahTherapy, googling LGBT/trans support groups on the Internet, if you know anyone in person to talk to them etc. Really just look for people's stories and you may find yourself walking in their shoes. It could help give you more understanding and clarity about how you're feeling.

I hope this helps in some way, and I hope you figure out how you're feeling. Self harm is never worth and it and one tiny cut is one too many. Look after yourself. xx