Am I feminine enough?

1

I don’t have any issue with my gender, I’m a woman and I feel comfortable with that, I just wonder sometimes if I’m feminine enough. I don’t like to wear makeup unless I have to and I’m at my most comfortable in baggy t-shirts and my underwear if I’m at home, I prefer to wear jeans, t-shirts and shirts outside over dresses.

I do wear makeup and dresses now and again. I have no interest in being “girly” all the time.
I never saw this as a problem until I was told I’m not feminine enough and I’ve been told I seem like I’m a closet lesbian, that’s not really an issue, I’m happy with the man I’m with.

It’s just hurt my feelings and made me question, am I feminine enough? Should I improve on it? I’m a woman afterall and this has made me insecure. Sorry if this makes no sense.

Tags: asked June 27, 2014

8 Answers

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There's no such thing as being "not feminine enough". Your level of femininity is based on what you are comfortable with, and is your internal feeling not an external projection. You can be an extremely feminine person while not dressing like it, even though there is a stereotype of what feminine looks like, that doesn't mean you have to conform to it to feel feminine. I'm really sorry that someone would say that to you, it's comments like that which can really eat at you. However, it's not you that is the problem, but the commentator. When people make snide gender comments it is only showing that they are insecure in their own gender presentation. Try not to let this bother you, and if you find yourself dwelling on it, try to put yourself in the mindset of whoever said this to you and imagine what they might be dealing with that caused them to say this. Dress in whatever makes you feel comfortable! If you feel equally feminine in your comfy home clothes as you would in a dress, all the power to you!
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You are not defined by other peoples perceptions and expectations. Be yourself , always. Ignore the rules and standards society sets. In the long run it won't matter, how you treat yourself matters. Being you and only who you want to be matters. Its of a great importance.
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If you are comfortable with who you are and who you're with, then no need to change, dear. I'm sure your man loves you for you. I'm quite like you, you shouldn't need to feel feminine, society just makes it seem that way.
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Being feminine is the ideal conduct for a female.It has been implemented by society for centuries;however I usually stray from society's labels and people in general, but that is probably the wrong path to go in general. It is great that you valid other people's opinion but you should not go to the extent to alter yourself. If you feel that you need to prove your femanity to other people by the clothes that you wear then go for it. All women in my perspective are femine regardless of personal taste because of the anatomical features and having the state of mind that they are female. And femanity and sexual orientation has no correlation. They are just being ignorant. Smh. Don't let people get to you. You are beautiful just the way you are. :3
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Your worth is not defined by other people's expectations of you. If YOU are feminine enough for YOU, then that is all that matters.
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Same case. Many people indirectly told me to 'doll-up' because I always wear shirts and jeans with the most boring colors ever, but I just can't ugh. I'm fond of makeup but I wear the most natural makeup look when heading outside :p. Just be comfortable in what you wear. Everyone will notice and ask you to change your style, but you are the one who will feel discomfort, not them. Sometimes people can be selfish in a bad way as to dictate anyone passing on the streets about what to wear or what to get.
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i can totally relate. I am 33, female, and I love my gamer shirts and jeans... I have only begun to start 'dressing for my age' but it's because that's what I want for myself. I have finally decided what I want to be and I want to look professional for what I happen to want to be. don't worry about what others think. I always felt like I had to please someone else. only recently I have realized I have to be an advocate for myself. gosh I don't even remember when I wore make up last, and I get my hair cut every 3 years :P I am quite happy with my husband and three kids. ;)
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I should add that sometimes I did feel insecure when I was commented on my looks because there were times that I did want to look nice (i.e. for a friend's wedding) but I didn't know how to fit clothes right on myself. I did extensive research so I know now, and I still go back to my jeans and teeshirts because that's who I am. since then I have never really felt insecure in how I look whether its feminine or not. I hope this helps. :)