First off I want to say, that I’m not as emotional about this as you would imagine. I am more just curious to the answer from a third person pov.
Back Story; My mother is on her death bed, my father is an alcoholic whose only interaction with the rest of the family is periodic screaming and quarrels. I have 2 brothers both of who are violent towards me(also alcoholics) to the point where I need to call the police once a month to stop it. I am unemployed and unable to leave this environment for the time being.
Thoughts; I have no compassion towards anything any more. I see a murder on the television and think to myself; “Why is everybody making such a big deal out of this? Even if they find the murderer what will punishment really do? She/He/They are dead and nothing will bring her/him/them back no matter the punishment to the perpetrator. The universe is indifferent and so am I.”
Question; Am I broken? Is this a normal thought process for most of you? I’d like to consider myself a strong person being able to endure all of this crap(of course I realize there are people who have it way worse though), But am I? I mean I’ve basically let it kill me emotionally to the point where I don’t ever associate with other people on a personal basis….