*WARNING* sensitive content!!
I am NOT posting this for attention, I just need some strangers’ help.
4 months ago I got raped by my boyfriend’s best friend.
One night, me, my boyfriend and his best friend all had a good evening and got drunk – bare in mind, we were in my boyfriend’s house, the safest place on EARTH in my mind, so it didn’t matter if I was drunk around people I trusted.
I passed out on my boyfriend’s bed, and my boyfriend joined me to sleep. The best friend snuggled in too. Not normal. I had no idea what had happened until the morning after(it sounds insane but it’s true), when I could put the pieces together. It wasn’t a “dragging someone down an alleyway and holding them against their will” rape, instead, he was trying to be so subtle that he wouldn’t wake my boyfriend, or me. Am i right in thinking it would be fair if his bollocks dropped right off? I am disgusted, still. I confronted him and he said I could never tell anyone because it would break so many friendships including mine with my boyfriend (yeah right).
Months went by, I hung out with him and friends just the same as if nothing as happened, my brain wanting to shrivel up into a rasin. My boyfriend could tell something was up, and eventually, I told him. My family now know, as well as my close friends, and everyone that needs to know. My boyfriend’s best friend is STILL denying it. I felt I should warn his girlfriend( yeah, i know) and when I apologised for what I was about to say, she said she already knew what I was going to say because he had already told her. “I know you slept with him” she said…… WHAT?
I went to tell my best friend and she said a similar thing, “oh I saw him at a party, he’s telling everyone you tried to sleep with him” – IF YOU’RE GOING TO TELL A LIE, TELL THE SAME ONE.
I feel like everything around me is falling apart. I hate him. I love my boyfriend so much and I feel like I should be better by now, but I’m not.
I AM seeking professional help but I want your opinions – am I being too dramatic? I know some women have it so much worse than me so I feel like my case is nothing I should be so worked up about but I am – HELP.