I was talking to my girlfriend about how I’m confused about my gender. I love being seen as a guy, love being called by male pronouns and the male version of my name. I hate my boobs and wear my binder whenever I can. But I still like doing things that are considered feminine. Like wearing dresses or make-up, and sewing things too. So am I a transguy? I’m really confused.
The best thing you can do if you're uncertain, is to do your own research. It's more valuable I think than asking other people what their opinion is based off their cisgender perceptions (usually). There's a lot of good books out there on this topic and the one I'd most recommend to you would be "Manning Up: Transsexual Men on Finding Brotherhood, Family & Themselves" - it's a collection of experiences of transmen, from first discovering and learning that they might be trans, to how their lives are as a result of the transformation. The stories are all really short so if you find one you like or relate to, then maybe you can google that person on the internet and learn more about them or maybe even arrange a chat. Most transgender people want to help other trans-questioning and are willing to reach out and answer questions and in some cases, even mentor. There are also a lot of youtube videos of MTF transitions if you just want to see what the process involves. But, since you are young and still technically maturing and you'll go through a lot of changes hormonally over the next few years, it might be best to wait until you've had a few life experiences under your belt (college, job, etc) that way you can see who you actually are in those unfamiliar settings, if that makes sense? I say this because I knew a girl once who in her teens thought she was a lesbian, a rather butch one, and she did the binding and cut her hair short and stuff, but by the time she was in her 20's she met a man that she fell in love with and they've been together 3 years and she completely embraces her feminity and loves doing her makeup and all the stuff that cisgender girls love. So people change over time and when your a teenager or young adult, you're undergoing tremendous change and adjustment so I would suggest waiting because once you start to transition and have surgeries, then you'll never really be the same again, even if you want to reverse the process. I'd suggest you just keep doing what you're doing now and you may consider yourself transgender if you identify more with being male than female and if you prefer male pronouns and are uncomfortable in your female body, etc... that would fit under the larger umbrella of transgenderism. Some people only define you as trans if you've had surgery. but basically, it's not for other people to decide who or what you are. It's up to you to claim your own identity in this world - but just know that your identity may change throughout life as you go through different situations.
The thing about being a transguy, is that no one can tell you that you are or not, You may be a trans guy, but maybe you are gender neutral, you like to do things in both categories, Which, of course, Is fine too! Don't let labels tie you down, do what you want to do c:
It's okay do whatever c: if you wanna talk about it, just private message me and we can skype or something, c:
I'm a transman. I began my transition over 13 years ago. I got two things for ya. #1, you can be trans and into dresses, makeup, or anything else that makes you happy.
#2, take your time. Don't rush anything. Read, watch videos, talk to other folks of varying gender identities and find a space that feels right to you.
I'm always up for questions if you have em.
It's totally fine to be a guy and still enjoy feminine things. If you identify with being male and prefer people to see you that way, but still enjoy wearing dresses/makeup and sewing that doesn't make you less of a man. Even cis men do those things sometimes. (and I think a lot of society's views on gender roles and masculinity/femininity is crap, but that's another Oprah) But it might be good to do some research into gender fluidity, androgyny, and agender to see what feels the most right to you. In the end, you are the only person who gets to decide what your identity is.
@Danny hugs lightningbugs :3- Thank you so much. You're answer is very helpful :) I like the gender neutrality thing, sounds right to me. I'll be sure to PM you my skype cuz I would love to talk with you.
Experience and self-exploration are the only true ways to find out. Of the two trans people I have dated, it took both a long time to figure things out. I'm currently dating someone who is genderfluid (meaning their gender is not definite on a day-to-day basis). I think you should research some of the terms of the trans* umbrella, solely because something may come up that you identify with. Not knowing is extremely stressful. But, with your own experience through experimentation and research (wow that sounds sciencey) you will one day be comfortable with your gender. Patience, and best of luck!
I have gone through what you are going through. I know that you can be feminine and be male at the same time. I'm a homosexual transgender man, and it's quite easy to tell that I am, but I don't care because I'm me, and I didn't feel like I was before I decided that I was a man trapped in a woman's body like an actor playing a female part he doesn't understand. People around you probably won't understand it either, but that can sometimes be for the best, if we all understood eachother, we wouldn't need to have conversations.