Abused or alone?

Saying "being alone is horrible" is saying a lot. There may be some scars behind that statement.Clearly both abuse and being alone hurt you. The difference is that when you are alone, the hurt comes from the inside. And, perhaps, with time, you will gain the upper hand and it will stop hurting. Being abused will only end if and when the abuser gets tired of abusing you. So you cannot be in control of your fate.It almost sounds like you are self-medicating, using abuse to distract you from inner turmoil.Want to talk about it?

alone. i still pick alone. once you go through it and finally escape the abuse you understand. your happiness can exist without abuse.

I can say that being in a shelter makes being abused feel like a better choice sometimes. Your alone, sad, talking about things you don't like to, and at least you felt loved a little while being told what to do when and how at home. Which is why a lot of girls go home. Including me. The holidays make this feeling stronger.