A bit scared…

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So about a month and a half ago, I broke up with my long distance boyfriend because of school problems and the possibility of moving; basically, a lot on my plate which would drive a wedge in our relationship. He didn’t feel like I was making time for him or anything, but would not understand that I have problems. At first, he was accepting of our breakup, but it only took a few weeks for him to turn sour. He called me up and yelled at me for every little thing I had done wrong while we were together, and proceeded to call me every week since to basically get mad about the same stuff over and over again. He’s proven himself to be a nutcase. One thing he’s mad about the most is that I’m intimate with a close friend of mine, and became so two weeks after leaving my ex. Confused emotions and his supposed being okay with whatever I did made me think little of sleeping with my friend; I owed him no loyalty since we were no longer together and I needed companionship. But he got so mad about it because he found out from another friend of mine what I did, before I had the chance to tell him gently myself. He accused me of lying and has not shut up about it since. He has also moved on though, having slept with one girl and getting into a relationship with another, whom he claims to love now. I’m not upset about this though, I’m just upset that he won’t accept what I say. He’s threatening to send screenshots of texts between us where I admitted to sleeping with my friend to my mom, who is very strict and reserved. She would, in short, not take kindly to this, possibly banning me from seeing my friend who I want to have a relationship with. My ex is blackmailing me and taking great pleasure in watching me squirm. I only talk to him occasionally because for some reason he wants to still be friends, and gets very upset when I ignore him (which I do because every conversation turns negative and angry). I do not know what he wants or how to handle him. He’s threatened more than just trashing my name and my friend’s name to my mom, but he won’t tell me what. How do I handle this guy?…

Category: Tags: asked October 29, 2014

4 Answers

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hey hello, one suggestion is for you to ignore what he says leave him behind ignore his messages his making your life harder just let him go
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block communication with him, you dont need to talk to him anymore. You dont owe him anything. If you dont draw the line it could get worse.
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Hi Maru, I understand your situation and you're not the only one who deals with such problems. I know that you could be in pain and that is normal when things like this happen. What i suggest you do is stop talking to him, because if he makes you feel bad everytime he talks to you, that doesn't make him a friend, you know? He is threatening you and that's just wrong. No one should do this to a great person like yourself, and that's why i think you should stop talking to him either forever or until he changes and both of you are ready to start a new and healthy relationship! I hope this helped! :)
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On top of blocking him, I would drop a word to your mom about this ex friend of yours who is now angry and bitter, and talk together about what to do in case he actually sends her things (not responding to him), so you take away the fear and isolation he is trying to put you in.
Keep a copy of the threatening messages.
'The gift of fear' would be good reading material.