19 years and counting. . .


In the 19 years of my life I have never had a boyfriend, or even have a guy show interest. I’m shy, but Im really good at talking to people if they strike up the conversation (Im an introvert :( ) I don’t get it. I’ve never been told that Im intimidating, not confidant enough, or TOO quiet. You know, all the cliche answers for why someone might be single. What can I do?! Im so ready to not be single.

Category: asked September 29, 2013

5 Answers

I'm sort of in the same boat. I'm 22 and never been in a relationship or had a guy show interest, etc. Also an introvert. Just understand there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being in a relationship. It doesn't say anything about how desirable you are, although it can feel like that sometimes. I feel like that at times because my sisters get lots of attention and I've never had any. Not one person. But don't let that get you down. There is no requirement for when someone is supposed to be in a relationship, even though it sure seems that way when 12 year olds are in "relationships."
You want to be careful about looking for a significant other, though. If you're too desperate, you might settle for the wrong kind of person. Just make sure that you're friendly and be sure that you're being yourself. When the time is right, I'm sure you will find that special someone. But don't rush the process and don't be discouraged if it takes a few more years. There is nothing wrong with that.
Maybe you should try taking the initiative? If it's so uncomfortable, I don't mean actually approaching someone. I mean falling in love. It's nicer that way. If you just look around and suddenly realize you can love this person. Not being single is easy and doesn't necessary make you feel good enough. It can even make you feel worse. But being in love on the other hand...
I'm an introvert too (I actually started a li'l group for the schizoids, hermits and introverts about 30 minutes ago) and I actually find that taking up the initiative can really give you a huge boost. I have the strange ability to decide when to go hyper, so when I meet new people, all I need is the actual energy to be in my system for me to go all out in only a few minutes. I found out that it helps a few weeks after I was at a gig (for some ungodly reason I managed to be best friends with one of the best singers in Leicestershire - with that and the fact that my brother and dad knew how to play guitar, I was a little bit pressured into music and learned to play the drums after finding that guitar, to say the least, wasn't really my thing). It happened that a girl I talked to while I was there had fallen for me. I helped her out with some family problems and saved her from her dad's anger at one point, and she felt so grateful that a few days later, she finally decided she needed to pluck up the courage to confess.So, due to the fact that I had a high energy drink that night, I got a 2 month relationship. The fact that when I go hyperactive I ignore the fact that some things might be a bad idea, I managed to talk to people and dance for an impressive amount of time with quite a bit of gusto. I find that by accidentally being the life of the party, you can end up in a relationship.
Yeah . . . whatever the people above said , it usually doesn't work unless you have the means to do it ( will , courage and friends backing you up ) . Which is why I get that they vote me down ( well mainly because they are stupid ) , the fact that I didn't write a long and seemingly endless answer . A dating site is the fastest and most secure way of " getting out there " . It grants you security in a mental sense , as you will most likely able to " be yourself " on the date ( though , obviously nervous ) . When it comes to things like these , don't spend your time thinking about whom to date , and how . Find a nice and trustworthy page and just throw yourself in there .
Find a dating site .