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    XIII posted an update 9 years ago

    I feel like I’m ok on the surface but every time I hear a train I picture throwing myself under it, I see a bridge I wonder if jumping off it would be enough to finish me. Every day, every mundane little thing leads me to this horrificly dark part of my mind. I just don’t know how to stop it.

    Mood : Disappointed
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    XIII posted a new activity comment 9 years, 1 month ago

    In reply to: XIII posted an update I haven’t drew my own blood in weeks, I have allowed my scars to fade. ”DIE” my three letter mantra come gory post-it note that I carved into my left wrist is barely visible. I don’t like […] View

    I made it through yesterday without doing anything, the thoughts are still there but I’m pleased with myself for staying strong, if only for half a day of bad thoughts. :)

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    XIII posted an update 9 years, 1 month ago

    I haven’t drew my own blood in weeks, I have allowed my scars to fade. “DIE” my three letter mantra come gory post-it note that I carved into my left wrist is barely visible. I don’t like it. Now more than ever I need to be reminded of my mortality and the futility of life. It’s been months since I attempted suicide but it’s starting to…[Read more]

    Mood : Dark
    • It can be very tempting to do that again, but it’s not worth it. You’ve been going without it for weeks. Don’t give up. Make it months and eventually years.

    • I made it through yesterday without doing anything, the thoughts are still there but I’m pleased with myself for staying strong, if only for half a day of bad thoughts. :)

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    XIII posted a new activity comment 9 years, 1 month ago

    In reply to: XIII posted an update Start feeling ok and then I get a call from my doctor… my CT scan results show I have a brain tumour. I’ve just been staring into space and sleeping the past few days. I have no idea how to […] View

    I really do appreciate the sentiment, but I’m naturally a pessimist so I’m not taking this news too well… but… I must push on. I’m still alive which given the prognosis so far is a gift. I keep reminding myself to make the most of this gift and not squander it succumbing to dark thoughts.

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    XIII posted a new activity comment 9 years, 1 month ago

    In reply to: XIII posted an update Start feeling ok and then I get a call from my doctor… my CT scan results show I have a brain tumour. I’ve just been staring into space and sleeping the past few days. I have no idea how to […] View

    Thanks you very much :)

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    XIII posted a new activity comment 9 years, 1 month ago

    In reply to: XIII posted an update Start feeling ok and then I get a call from my doctor… my CT scan results show I have a brain tumour. I’ve just been staring into space and sleeping the past few days. I have no idea how to […] View

    Thank you :)

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    XIII posted an update 9 years, 1 month ago

    Start feeling ok and then I get a call from my doctor… my CT scan results show I have a brain tumour. I’ve just been staring into space and sleeping the past few days. I have no idea how to handle this, I feel like it hasn’t even properly sunk in yet.

    Mood : Anxious
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    XIII posted a new activity comment 9 years, 1 month ago

    In reply to: chloe posted an update @xiii hey can you pm me please as i need to talk to someone View

    Can you PM me first? I’m kinda new here and I’m having some trouble sending you a PM. I’m here now for an hour or two. Feel free to vent, I hope I can help you.

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    XIII changed their profile picture 9 years, 1 month ago

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    XIII posted an update 9 years, 1 month ago

    Getting better?

    … I say to myself probably knowing I’ll be punching walls again within mere hours.

    Mood : Cynical
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    XIII posted a new activity comment 9 years, 2 months ago

    In reply to: XIII posted an update HUMAN ERROR View

    It’s been a trying few weeks… I’m starting to feel more machine than any semblence of an organic creature. I’m becoming increasingly nonchalant with my wellbeing… if it weren’t for my mother, well… I don’t want to dump too much on a complete stranger so suddnely. Thank you for your concern, it genuinely means something to me. I hope you…[Read more]

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    XIII posted an update 9 years, 2 months ago

    HUMAN ERROR

    Mood : Gloomy
    • Are you okay?

    • It’s been a trying few weeks… I’m starting to feel more machine than any semblence of an organic creature. I’m becoming increasingly nonchalant with my wellbeing… if it weren’t for my mother, well… I don’t want to dump too much on a complete stranger so suddnely. Thank you for your concern, it genuinely means something to me. I hope you…[Read more]

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    XIII joined the group Group logoMental Illness Support Group 9 years, 3 months ago

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    XIII posted an update 9 years, 3 months ago

    Hip-Hop therapy.

    Mood : Relaxed
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    XIII joined the group Group logoLesbian Talk, Help and Advice 9 years, 3 months ago

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    XIII joined the group Group logoBlahTherapy Arcade 9 years, 3 months ago

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    XIII replied to the forum topic Would you ever? in the group Group logoBlahTherapy Arcade 9 years, 3 months ago

    Good god no.

    Would you ever just pack your bags, leave home and go somewhere totally random for a few days?

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    XIII changed their profile picture 9 years, 3 months ago

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    XIII became a registered member 9 years, 3 months ago