- Mood : Depressed
Plz comment my inbox is f’ed up it won’t let me type I’m on an ipod
Cutting myself open was my only escape I want to start up again but spring is coming and it’s getting warm that means shortsleeve shirts and I want to escape bit people will judge but they dont know me how I feel and everyone says not to but they don’t get the freedom and satisfaction when that blade slides along my skin and the blood drips. Do I need help maybe but I hate people yea I can speak but not to people. I don’t know why and this makes it difficult I don’t feel like I belong and it’s tourcher to not cut and see the blood run I feel like if helps me they disagree with it cause they can use the weak me cause the strong me would make them loose their popularity and their fame at school is more important than someone’s life like I’m a punching bag or like I’m tied up or drowning me in embarrassment an pain suffering. I can’t fight my voice is gone as rumours spread my value decreases to the point in which I try to kill myself and when I fail they pretend to support me then bring me down to reuse me and I’m done.
See if anyone cared they would read and help all anyone says is ”it’ll get better” but the answer is no it won’t it’s just a thing one says to make them feel better but it’s all lies
When you said to imagine being you, I continued to read and truly imagined being in your shoes. I typically do try to put myself in other people’s shoes to better understand what’s going on. This time, I can easily say that I understand. I get it.
Now, that may seem like a really typical response, but let me continue.
Four years ago, I was in a really toxic place in life. Trapped in a relationship built off of fear, isolated from the world, barely getting by with depression and anxiety. I lost all my friends because I would push them away. People still in my life or those who tried to be in it, I could barely trust. Many of them I actually couldn’t, either. I’ve dealt with toxic people like that, who pretend to care about you and then drop you like a dime the second you need them.
I literally had no one close to me that would understand or care about the stuff I was going through. I had the people on here, certainly, but all I ever wanted was a true friend who cared.
All of us here care. We really do. It may not seem like it, because sometimes people aren’t always able to be there, but when we find out someone isn’t alright, we’re there for them. We may not be “true friends”, but all of the people on this site care, and I’m sure in person, there are people who care about you too.
And everyone saying that it gets better? They aren’t lying. I never used to believe them, either. It’s an easy phrase to tell someone who’s down. But it’s the complete truth, and I can see that now that it’s four years later and I’m actually in a really better place in life.
Time helps. It does. There’s no telling how long it’ll take; it could be months or years away, but it takes a lot of willpower and control to see the world and see yourself a different way.
Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle. Every single day, I struggle. But it’s nowhere near as bad as it once was. Someday, I can easily promise you that you’ll be in the same situation. Looking back and realizing how far you’ve come. It’s bad right now, but it won’t be bad forever.
I don’t know you. But I care about you. Because every life is precious, and I’ve been there. Boy have I fucking been there. And again, I don’t know you or really anything about you, but I want to see you get better. It doesn’t have to happen now, but someday, you’ll be better. In the meantime, I want you to hold on strong. You aren’t alone and you have plenty of ears here who are willing to listen to you. Why? Because we all get it. We really do. I do.
Truly, I hope you feel better. What ever it may be exactly that’s causing all of this distress, I hope you can find a good way to cope and get through. Everyone deserves to be able to get through.
You will make it through this @whyamialive, everything will be OK, don’t let depression and sadness get you down, you are a survivor and fighter who will do great things in life, make each day upbeat, positive and happy, remember the BT community cares about you and so do I, you will overcome and so many brighter days will be ahead, hold your head up high, believe in yourself and keep going forward, things will change for the better, never give up, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone, or email me (hugs)
wow you do care ive read everything total wrote and I appreciate it and how you can relate and I will email you oil thank you all for your support I am not better but I am not worst I may seem a little stubborn but I am scared, scared of life, my future, people, and what they do to me.
And there’s nothing wrong with that, whatsoever. Everyone handles things differently, and it’s hard to see through all the pain. I totally get it.
Just remember that we are always here for you.
Is it wrong to cut to make myself feel better or is it just people say no cause it dosent help them
If I died how would you feel obviously not too bad cause you don’t know me but I’m curios and I only want the truth
Plz respond I’m curious