I am a depressed 14 year old boy. I live with my Dad and my awful step-mother and step-brother. I can't explain why I hate them because if I did there would be ALOT of explaining to do. I wish I could live with my Moms side of the family. I love and respect all of them and I rarely see them.
I'm always afraid I I'll never get a girlfriend or lose my virginty. I have a very low selfesteem and social anxiety.
I have been trying to commit suicide since I was 10. As I get older my attempts at suicide become more frequent and become more harsh. Lately, I have been slitting my wrists. I don't do things like this because I'm emo or I want attention. I'm afraid to tell people I'm suicidal because I'm afraid thats what they'll think of me.
When I was 13 I developed an addiction. I don't watch anything hardcore or digusting but it's still an addiction that needs to stop. I watch porn almost every day.
I know this might not seem like such a big deal and I'm aware many of you have had it worse, but trust me it's ALOT more worse than it sounds. I haven't got to explain much because there is WAY to much to explain. I could write a 15 page essay about it.
As much as I would love to not be alive right now, I also want to keep living and see if any thing great happens in the future. Like I said, I know it may not sound like I have it bad, but trust me it's worse than it sounds. Plus I didn't explain much. There is too much to explain.