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    Spectrolite7 posted an update 3 years, 4 months ago

    I wish that I didn’t feel like this anymore.. I’m just a step closer to doing things that I probably wouldn’t even do because I can’t act on anything.. I’m stuck physically. My body doesn’t move in accordance with my mind.. and that’s the problem. I think that’s the problem of my life. And I feel so sick of the fact that I think so much about hurting myself as a solution.. that’s a shame. What is the real solution? The real solution is good interaction with my family.. and feeling like I’m alive through my ability to express myself authentically. I feel like I’m just stuck and I have to help myself get unstuck.. I think maybe I have to stop judging myself about anything… even this… I just have to accept everything… My mind is telling my body to hurt myself… :( I can’t stand myself, I have like different minds within me. I feel damn messed up… I’m so close to completely loosing it. I just feel like I’m having a breakdown or a meltdown… I don’t know… this is sickening. Maybe a tea or something will knock me out… I have to be knocked out right now before I do anything that isn’t ok.

    Mood : Melancholy
    • Please don’t hurt or harm yourself @spectrolite7, try to stay positive, relaxed and find ways to calm yourself, I want to see you smiling and feeling wonderful, everything will be OK, remember to hold your head up high and surround yourself with all the things that bring you a sense of optimism, hope and brightness, make each day as awesome as you can and always be the special person that you are, you will make it through this because you are a survivor, always believe in yourself and never give up, you can do it, feel free to inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)