The boyfriend I had, kept using me… every time I came over, he would make it seem like he would take part in the paying for something but I ended up mostly always having to pay the whole thing… I just kept getting more and more annoyed with what he was doing, until I just couldn’t take it anymore… so If I don’t see him now, I shouldn’t feel any type of shame or guilt for not seeing him, he created that by taking advantage and treating me like I was some type of servant for him… I won’t even bother to explain myself more to him… what he did really annoyed me… I have every right to keep my distance… He doesn’t even realize how abusive he is… maybe now he does though… He knows exactly what he has done wrong, using his girlfriend for his habit while neglecting his girlfriend’s needs. He knows exactly what he did wrong… and he is suffering the consequence of that… I cared about him but he seemed to care about me but it was for show, as a smooching tactic to get me to do things for him. I find it disrespectful what he did. It didn’t really seem like real love at some moments… I rather focus my attention elsewere now, something more better and more calming. I’m done with that whole situation… it’s off my hands now… The only thing he can do is apologize for being so selfish… On another level, I still love and accept him but I just couldn’t deal with his behavior and things he did… especially also saying he was going to meet with me and then not showing up and also not even apologizing for it either… fucking rude as fuck. I’ve vented enough and I hope to focus my energy on better more productive things.