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    jporwave posted an update 5 months ago

    history repeats itself, it really does

    i remember what my ex said.. she told me to stop complimenting her and saying i loved her all the time because it ’cheapened’ the phrase
    i meant it the same amount every time i said it but i guess she didnt feel that way

    my bf just asked me to stop complimenting him too…

    when i love someone i cant help it, i shower them with compliments and affection, i send them long multi-paragraph messages about how much they mean to me, i make it clear they are loved… i cant help it, i cant
    and now twice in a row its bothered the people i love : /

    just dont like myself one bit

    spent so much time hating myself i barely even know who i am anymore, even half the shit i know i like now i learned from my ex- im just a sponge that soaks up other peoples habits and interests, i dont have anything really unique to myself
    used to like how kind i was, it was the only thing i actually did that made me feel like a good person, made me feel like a good boyfriend, made some of the things in my head feel less true


    now im just adding it to a list of things i hate about myself… just like everything else i guess

    why do i have to be *so* fucking much for people? why cant i just be normal and love them a moderate amount? why do i have to be so fucking god damn obsessive god damnit i hate myself

    Mood : Blah
    • Oli replied 5 months ago

      There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an affectionate and loving person @shadrakor, your boyfriend and ex-girlfriend should both realize how lucky they are and were to have someone as sweet and kind as you in their lives, please don’t hate yourself, always be the wonderful and compassionate person that you are, keep spreading love and care to yourself and those around you, feel free to inbox me anytime if you ever need to talk, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

    • Listen hun, different people have their own love languages. It is possible these two people you were with are too insecure or just didn’t click with your form of affection. It’s fine. It has happened with me, where I was on both ends! This is not the end and someone someday will really appreciate and reciprocate the feelings and actions you take in love.