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    Coolsoda posted an update 5 years, 8 months ago

    I never feel like I can be honest and say stuff like this-because I know so many people (life) and on this website are dealing with things much bigger and I always just feel like I’m dragging everyone down when I talk like this but honestly I’m so tired of stepping around everyone’s’ feelings, trying to keep everything glued together. I wish I felt like people cared half as much as I did…or atleast used to. So for the world I have a kinda bleak qu/epiphany why do we force ourselves to be happy, or upbeat? I mean whats the point I feel like I’m always having to fight not negativity but realism. Isn’t it just easier to accept that life sucks and this is all were ever gonna get out of it. Trying to be positive all the time just feels so exhausting. I hate that too, people telling me to be positive because your not actually helping anyone your just telling them to hide their feelings because their discomfort makes you uncomfortable and this isn’t some depressed diatribe…rant maybe, because its not internal just a continual chain of broken expectations. I guess I just feel like nothings possible anymore

    Mood : Alone
    • exactly things arent roses and butterflies the simple fact of the matter is were all just here trying to coexist theres no real point to anything since this life is in fact temporary we all die its going to happen there’s no magical mysterious meaning to it we delude ourselves thinking there could be a better place but we in fact simply don’t know whats waiting on the other side…sometimes i feel like i’m dreaming just waiting to ”wake up” i don’t know i don’t have the answers…that’s the point…no one does…and without a point the effort just seems pointless i haven’t given up but i’m not gonna waste my life trying to make a pointless effort when i know that no matter what happens everything i do or say isn’t going to matter in the end maybe its depressing and i’m sorry if i’m stepping on some touchy topics and some people might seem like the line of thinking is suicidal maybe it is but I’ve tried to kill myself before like legit should’ve died but i didn’t so maybe i’m not ready to die but i know that living isn’t worth the effort either so I live in exile just waiting for something to happen maybe it will maybe it wont…i don’t know i cant control anything outside myself and i refuse to become enslaved to currency in all its ugly forms i wont be bought and sold my time is priceless because time is the one currency i do value its priceless and putting a price on your time is the most disgusting thing we do as humans…i pay so much a month for rent i make this much an hour…when did it become we had to pay to exist how does that equate to freedom…no one is free only in death are we truly free

    • Please don’t feel alone @pepperman, remember we are all here to support you on Blah, I may not know you personally but I want to see you smiling and being fantastic, things will work out for you and so many more brighter and better days will be ahead, you will do great things and you will have a fabulous future, hold your head up high and be as upbeat as you can, everything will work out, I’ll be here for you every step of the way, believe in yourself and never give up, there is always hope, message me anytime if you want to chat, my inbox is always open, stay strong :) (hugs)

    • @pepperman To some extent, acting like you feel better is proven to help a bit to actually make you feel better, that might be one reason people suggest it to you. I think ’life sucks’ is reductive, yes there’s not much fairness or control but we would be lying if we said we never enjoy anything. We have our good moments, and to some extent, we have some leeway to get rid of stuff/people who make things worse, or to do things we enjoy. That’s closer to realism. If the problem is that the people around you can’t take your negativity, maybe you can find some places where you are allowed to explore it, be it a support group, a diary, or a therapist figure. Or spend less time near eggshells. That could even things out. (We are talking vaguely so I might be off.)