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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update 8 years, 1 month ago

    When you finally have your GAD undercontrolled but it turns out you may have sertonin syndrome, so you have to reduce the amount of meds you take which means your GAD has a chance to come back. And just when I was starting to make people believe that I’m mentatly stable.

    Mood : Afraid
    • Do look after yourself and focus on getting yourself to a better place @orderofthehalfblood, I’m sure things will work out and you will do awesomely, try your best to stay positive and don’t let anything stand in your way, you are a fantastic person who deserves all the best that life has to offer, hold your head up high and focus on all the…[Read more]

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted a new activity comment 8 years, 1 month ago

    In reply to: OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update I wish I could stop feeling so inferior all the time to my peers. I sometimes want to cry because of how competent they are. I’m trying to do the best I am, but my best is […] View

    Sorry for the incoherent sentences. Pretty drowsy right now.

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update 8 years, 1 month ago

    I wish I could stop feeling so inferior all the time to my peers. I sometimes want to cry because of how competent they are. I’m trying to do the best I am, but my best is nothing compared to theirs. Yes, I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but it’s hard to be around these people almost 24/7 and constantly feel like an idiot. This is going to…[Read more]

    Mood : Sad
    • Sorry for the incoherent sentences. Pretty drowsy right now.

    • @orderofthehalfblood its never easy to shun envy and jealousy, its easier to ignore it, best way to beat the feeling of inferiority is to learn something new each day, if you ignore your envy, if you ignore your jealousy and focus on improving yourself, learning more and more, one day yourself talking to these people once more and you’ll find…[Read more]

    • Please don’t feel bad about yourself @orderofthehalfblood, everyone has something they are good at, I’m sure you do too, remember to focus on making yourself better each day and on learning new things, do keep improving and seeing yourself in a positive light, things will go your way and I’m sure you will be so successful in life, don’t give…[Read more]

    • I would remove myself from it, but that would mean a lot of money I’d have to pay up right away with no money to pay it. Being smart matters a lot to me because it’s really all I have going for me. I’m not really good at much else. Well, I guess complaining, but that isn’t really anything to be proud of.

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted a new activity comment 8 years, 1 month ago

    In reply to: OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update It’s funny how I’m being taught to be in a profession all about promoting health and helping others get better when I have to forfeit my own health (physically, emotionally, […] View

    Like my blood pressure is so high right now to the point where I have difficulty breathing and concentrating for too long, but who cares! I have clinical! Screw my own well-being!

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update 8 years, 1 month ago

    It’s funny how I’m being taught to be in a profession all about promoting health and helping others get better when I have to forfeit my own health (physically, emotionally, and healthy) in order to do so. I guess there has to be a balance with everything, doesn’t there?

    Mood : Crappy
    • Like my blood pressure is so high right now to the point where I have difficulty breathing and concentrating for too long, but who cares! I have clinical! Screw my own well-being!

    • No. That is not “balance”. You are not balancing any cosmic justice scales by suffering while you learn to help others out of the same. You can help others learn to live well while also living well for yourself.

      You cannot neglect your personal well-being; if you do not take care of yourself, then you are therefore less-capable of caring for…[Read more]

    • Do look after yourself and focus on getting yourself to a better place emotionally and mentally @orderofthehalfblood, remember to make yourself feel as good as possible while also trying to care for others, I want the best for you, stay positive, keep going and don’t give up, things will work out, you will make it, we are all here to support you…[Read more]

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update 8 years, 1 month ago

    I feel sad, yet indifferent? It almost feels like I’m too ”tired” to really get upset. For an example, someone laughed at me today (more than likely not in a nice way, as I said something that was not appropriate for the situation), and instead of getting all flustered I just sort of stared at her. I don’t like this feeling too much.

    Mood : Blank
    • Please don’t feel sad @orderofthehalfblood, you are a lovely person who deserves to feel awesome and on top of the world, try to focus on the things that put a smile on your face and that make you feel content, everything will be OK, smile and hold your head up high, amazing things will happen to you, be upbeat and show everyone how truly…[Read more]

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted a new activity comment 8 years, 2 months ago

    In reply to: OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update My self esteem is at a point right now where when I see my reflection in my laptop’s screen I cringe. It really sucks. View

    You feel my pain. Man, glad I’m not alone. If this is too personal to answer I understand, but for me I can’t look at myself in the mirror for more then a few seconds without feeling really uncomfortable. I also will walk by my closet mirror and will purposely advert my eyes to anywhere on my reflection except my face. Do you ever get that way as well?

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted a new activity comment 8 years, 2 months ago

    In reply to: 里贾纳 posted an update On the bright side a patient hugged me and said thank you so much before being discharged which made my day lol. View

    That’s amazing. :D

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted a new activity comment 8 years, 2 months ago

    In reply to: OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update My self esteem is at a point right now where when I see my reflection in my laptop’s screen I cringe. It really sucks. View

    I was doing so well this week, too…

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update 8 years, 2 months ago

    My self esteem is at a point right now where when I see my reflection in my laptop’s screen I cringe. It really sucks.

    Mood : Depressed
    • I was doing so well this week, too…

    • I understand that. I wish I could give advice, but honestly, I haven’t learned anything about how to help myself in any way when my body image & self esteem is on the ground. If you ever want to talk/vent/cry (I’m good at that too), feel free to drop me a PM. It can help to talk it out :)

    • You feel my pain. Man, glad I’m not alone. If this is too personal to answer I understand, but for me I can’t look at myself in the mirror for more then a few seconds without feeling really uncomfortable. I also will walk by my closet mirror and will purposely advert my eyes to anywhere on my reflection except my face. Do you ever get that way as well?

    • Please don’t feel bad about yourselves @laurielizrose and @orderofthehalfblood, you are both beautiful and incredible inside and out, please love and be kind to yourselves, you both deserve to see how truly incredible you are, remember to keep being awesome, I’m always here if either of you need support, feel free to message me anytime, my inbox…[Read more]

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update 8 years, 3 months ago

    Feel pretty anxiety ridden. I really don’t want to go back to clinical. I’ve kinda been thrown out to the wolves here, and my worst fears going into clinical have been confirmed. Trying my best to be (fake) positive, but it sucks that clinical is four days away and I feel so anxious.

    Mood : Anxious
    • Please don’t let sadness get you down @orderofthehalfblood, you are such a lovely and special angel who deserves all the happiness and brightness in the world, things may seem hard but they will change for the better, hold your head up high and show everyone how truly fabulous you are, you are a warrior who never gives up, see yourself in an…[Read more]

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted a new activity comment 8 years, 3 months ago

    In reply to: OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update I don’t feel like living anymore. At this point my parents are the only thing that is keeping me alive. Ugh. It would hurt them too much if I died, so I guess I’ll just stay […] View

    Like, I can’t recall a time when I’ve felt like dying THIS much.

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update 8 years, 3 months ago

    I don’t feel like living anymore. At this point my parents are the only thing that is keeping me alive. Ugh. It would hurt them too much if I died, so I guess I’ll just stay here.

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update 8 years, 3 months ago

    I don’t feel like living anymore. At this point my parents are the only thing that is keeping me alive. Ugh. It would hurt them too much if I died, so I guess I’ll just stay here.

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update 8 years, 3 months ago

    Almost done moving into my new place. :) My new roommates seem nice. I’m a bit concerned about their cleaning habits, but I’m starting to accept the fact that my cleaning expectations are way too high. I love how big my room is though! I feel cozy in it already.

    Mood : Neutral
    • Hope you enjoy your new place and surroundings @orderofthehalfblood, I wish you all the best going forward, stay positive and keep being the lovely human-being that you are, I’m always here if you need to chat :) (hugs)

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted a new activity comment 8 years, 3 months ago

    In reply to: Brooke posted an update Okay so venting moment…why is our society so stuck up on making women feel like they need to be perfect all the time?? Perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect body. God forbid ur underwear […] View

    Sorry to hear what you’re going through. As a woman, I understand the unreasonable expectations that are thrust upon us. Thankfully though, not everyone cares about looks and societal expectations, and these people are absolute gifts that I cherish dearly. I know it may seem hard right now, but try your best to keep your head up and be hopeful.…[Read more]

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted a new activity comment 8 years, 3 months ago

    In reply to: Christine posted an update I’ve been so happy recently, I’m glad. :) Nothing’s getting in the way of my happiness now. View

    That’s fantastic to hear, @itschristinex! I’m glad that you’re feeling very happy, and hope it continues to be that way. :)

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood and Profile picture of crybabyApril are now friends 8 years, 3 months ago

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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update 8 years, 3 months ago

    I can’t get over how lovely the Blah Therapy community is. Everyone is just so amazing, and I can’t explain how thankful I am to have come across this wonderful website.

    Mood : Thankful
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    OrderoftheHalfBlood posted a new activity comment 8 years, 3 months ago

    In reply to: OrderoftheHalfBlood posted an update I’ve been trying to go to bed earlier than 12, but I’m anxiety about my clinical seems to be keeping me up until 2-3AM. :( I’m just thankful I’m on break so it doesn’t affect my […] View

    I’ll try out your ideas @strideintomyoffice and @oliver …thanks! :)

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