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    Oli posted an update 8 years, 4 months ago

    I’m really, really struggling, I’m such a horrible person, I upset everyone and make people feel bad, I really should just leave this site, it’ll be for the best, things just haven’t been going well lately, I mean I finally have a year’s employment, but all my job does is make me so exhausted, I’m lonely and alone, It’s better if I totally disappear, that way I’ll stop being a nuisance and annoyance to everyone, I have too much time to think, mostly about the past, all I’m doing is making myself more depressed and sad with each day, I feel like giving up on life, I’m sorry everyone :(

    Mood : Depressed
    • You always offer to listen to others but how often do you let others listen to you? Even the greatest listeners need to vent sometimes. Inbox me if you need to talk.

    • @oliver You’re such a lovely, caring, kind-hearted person. You help so many people on here day in and day out. You can always message me if you want to talk.

    • @oliver Hey now, I understand that you’re struggling, and depression doesn’t make it any easier. But from what I’ve seen and experienced, you are definitely not a horrible person. You’re amazing, and you’re always helping people out around here. It always makes me smile, seeing how you look out for everyone, and you’re just so friendly.
      You’ve even helped lift me up before, just by leaving a simple comment on my post. I know it feels like you may not be helping everyone, but you DO help so many people. I bet if there’s anyone someone would want to turn to for help, it’d be you. And we’re all here for you, too.
      I know that things are hard right now, but it’ll be okay. Things won’t be bad forever. You just have to do your best and stay strong, and I believe in you, Oli. :) So please, stay strong for yourself and for everyone who cares about you. I know you can do this, and you aren’t alone. Don’t give up, because it’ll get better eventually, I promise.
      ~ Hayden.

    • @oliver

      Oli, you are not horrible. You can not blame yourself for the fragile state of other people’s relationships. You did nothing wrong.

      You following?

    • No, your not. You are such a nice person and everytime you comment with something suppotive it never failes to make me smile. Keep it up :)

    • Please don’t give up. Listen to me, you make me happy and YOU make Me feel BETTER almost EVERY day because of what you say to me & others. It’s incredible to know such a wonderous, kind-hearted, caring, and radiant person exists. You have a glowing, positive energy, and even though life may not be all sunshine for you- you sure deserve it because words cannot describe how amazing you are. And you deserve amazing things. It hurts to see such a beautiful person suffer sometimes and feel down. If you ever need to talk I am here. ♥

    • @oliver
      Why would you say that. Come one you helped a lot of people on here and you know it. You are such an awesome and wonderful and amazing guy. You are so beautiful inside and out. And I’m not just saying this. Look at all the other comments you have helped us all and more people. We love you and we would hate it if you left. You never make anybody sad or anger and your never ever annoying. You lift people’s selfasteam, you make me happy, you bring joy to people’s life and we want to do the same for you. Oliver please don’t leave us you are so amazing I’ve never met anyone as nice as you. You greet everyone that’s new here when you can. You help everyone with their problems weather there a really old member or a 5 minute member. You can’t leave us. Without YOU blah wouldn’t be the same. For a lot of us. We would log on and see you helping us and others. If you left it wouldn’t be the same… I love you. I do

    • Oli, you’ve helped me and others so much, I can’t understand the pain or unhappiness that goes through your mind let alone the cause, but I can try. If you leave this site, people will be losing someone of great importance, someone who has cheered me and others up during times of distress. Things get bad, things get good, life does honestly go up and down, and you out of many people also should know that, you have been through good days and bad days, hopefully your good is coming soon. You however, are a wonderful, sweet, loving and honestly much of a caring guy, please don’t go, feel better and if you need to talk about anything you can talk to me *hugs* I love you.

    • You should not leave, you are essentially a pillar of the community. If you leave, you take a lot of what this site so special with you. Every time I look at my activity feed, I always see you helping people. I thought that you where almost annoyingly optimistic and uplifting.

      This post reminds me that you are human and not a ”happy robot”, I didn’t realize that you where floating in an infinite abyss of pain and suffering. I mean JEZUZ man, throttle it down a little, haha. You provide a ton of value to this community and that is real worth…that is what gives you so much worth.

      Just so you know, ”objective reality” doesn’t care if your trapped in some delusional fantasy world where you are a total piece of shit loser, because ”reality” just IS…and it IS currently the state of ”reality” that you have a DEEP level of worth that your ass obviously can’t see right now.

      So I hope you read all these comments and it peels away the wall of negativity that your ”EGO” has built around your ”true self” or ”soul”…and after reading all of these comments I hope that your ”true self” is now armed with a ”spiritual machine gun” and drives straight through it’s prison of pain with a fucking ”emotional tank” and forces your ”ego” to STOP it’s self inflicted battering of your ”soul”.

      What I just read from you was pure self abuse, you are not a horrible pers…I mean…seriously? Where did you even come up with that, is your ego in full control of your consciousness right now? Did you ego pull that directly out of your ass?

      Because it’s the complete opposite of reality, everything you wrote about being a terrible person, annoying, a nuisance and how you should quit the site and give up on life…. is total, complete, utter horseshit and ”ego” be damned, your ”true self”, your mutha fuckin’ ”soul” knows that I’m telling you the truth right now.

      I need you to come back to reality, the place where you are essentially a hero to a lot of people here. The place where we all love you and care about you, where we appreciate your constant encouragement. The place where so many…who nearly slid off the side of that ”ledge”, into the black abyss below of substance abuse, self-harm, self loathing, pure negativity and eventual suicide….where those people where grabbed when you extended your arm out to them and grasped their hand as tightly as you could to pull them back from that ledge and save them.
      Don’t leave your clan, your community, your tribe. We are a wolf pack…and you are one of us, regardless of if you are a mutha fuckin’ lone wolf…or if your running with the fuckin’ PACK….you are a fellow wolf, your apart of the group and we all hunt together and always protect one another no matter what. So come back to the pack baybuh! We’ve got a seat waiting just for you. *rips off his clothes, howls at the moon and runs off into the woods.*

    • What?! You’re not an a nuisance and an annoyance! Each time I’m on here I always see you encouraging and motivating others. You’re a fantastic human being. Please don’t give up! Right now it may seem like there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel, but there’s fantastic things awaiting for someone like you, I’m sure of it. :)

    • Come on man, you are always a bright ray of light, sometimes losers like me just need to hear some of your syrupy crap just to feel better. The problem is that it takes us all by surprise when you post something contrary to what we are used to seeing from you. I know that sometimes I don’t always take your uplifting response too seriously and for that I apologize, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t appreciate seeing it. Besides look at the positive side, you don’t have to worry about unemployment for a whole year! Keep your chin up Oli and thanks for never asking for nude photos, if you were here I would kiss your cheek.

    • You know what, you are one of the first people I came into contact with on this site. You should stay there are always people who can help and people who need to be helped. I say people are never one or the other. You helped so many others and now you are on the other end. There will always be people who care. don’t leave. <3

    • i remember all the times you gave me an ear to listen and help me… you are meaningful and matter, you are not a horrible person. You are caring… and I appreciate that.

    • You were the first one to speak to me when I joined this site, I felt really welcomed from how friendly you were. I know you’re strong enough to overcome this, I believe in you. So do all your friends on here! You can do it, don’t give up.

    • You keep people going, you make people smile. To make someone smile I consider a gift and you shouldn’t just let that go. You should keep the smile you have put on so many peoples faces and stay stay with people who love your inspirational words that you say to them.

    • You can stay strong Oli, take the advice youve given to everyone youve helped and use it for yourself… The advice you gave me literally saved my life, i haven’t gotten to tell you about it yet but you did, if you saved my life, and so many others, we will work together to keep yours, you have helped so many people in so many ways, while i was in the hospital the therapist told us, for every negative thing or thought, 10 positive ones have to make it up. It’s easier for us to notice the negatives and forget about the positives. you can stay strong, youre amazing, never ever forget that.

    • @Oliver REALLY? because I don’t see you as a pain, nuisance, pest, or anything of the sort, and I don’t think that anyone else thinks that either. You are nice and caring friend, and you have been there for a big number of people here on blah! If someone sees you as a nuisance, then who cares! You have a bunch of people who are willing to help you because you have helped them! Don’t give up on life Oliver! You are here for a purpose and if you probably disappeared, there will be people that will be sad, and miss you. So please don’t give up. If you need anyone to talk to or to vent to, or just be your friend, you know where to find me/ contact me on here. :)

    • Dont say that, you should never leave this site. You’ve saved me so many times and I am sure you’ve saved plenty other. You’re a truly blessing

    • Oli, I am somewhat new to this site, and have not met you, but I have been at this place you are now at. Even when it looks the darkest, there is light there. You obviously do not upset everyone and make everyone feel bad, or you would not be coming to this site and staying. Look into yourself and see that light that is you. If there was something that happened that makes you feel this way now, remember that people get upset. Most often people get upset at others they like or love. As for your job making you feel exhausted, that is common. The harsh truth of employment these days means that not everyone can work their passion and be paid for it. But always know that with each day of employment, you build a resume so that you can find a job that is better suited to you. Set a goal for employment that you WANT, and then try to find the steps to get you there. That in itself can help alleviate much of the depression. But most of all, do not set a time limit for you to feel ”better” or ”turned around”. Give yourself the time you need while always looking forward. Try to remember, that when you are flat on your back, the only way to look is up. I do hope you find peace. Take good care.

    • yo you gotta hang in there! Take it form me disappearing doesn’t solve a thing!!!! When you disappear noone actually notices it’s when you stay and fight they do! COme on dude fight the good fight im here if you need me just one message awayyyyyyy *huggzzzz*

    • Don’t do this! You just left a really nice comment on my recent update, so there’s no way you’re a horrible person! Talk to me sometime :P

    • No way Oli… your message to me is proof enough that you are far from being anything bad. Hang in there… you are a great guy and sooner or later everyone around you will also realise and appreciate this. The way to happiness is to make others happy and you are truly following that path… keep going at it, we are all with you. Message me anytime you wanna talk.

    • What are you talking about.You just saved me I was about to see what really happens after death and then saw your comment if you’re a horrible person who’s just an annoyance what does that say about me or the people that love you.We are here for you look at these comments and you will see you help so many people.A world where you’re not there is not a good one.

    • @Oli you are a gentle soul. We have never met, and Im sure the same goes for many of the others on this site. However, you constantly send out messages of positivity, love and acceptance. You’re far from being a horrible person. Whoever is putting these terrible thoughts in your head is the one with the issue, not you. Never forget that. My inbox is always welcome to you if you need to chat!

    • No Oli! Your an amazing person. This site wouldn’t be the same if you left. I’m sorry we haven’t messaged each-other in a long long time, I’m not sure if you even remember me, but I took a long break from this site and I barely come on anymore. But don’t ever think your a nuisance or annoying. We need people like you in this world. You are seriously one of the kindest and understanding people out there. Whenever someone post something sad you always comment and try to cheer them up. Like 99 percent of the posts I’ve seen, you commented on. I think it’s the nicest people who are usually the loneliest ones, and the ones that seem the happiest are usually the saddest. So I know you must have gone through a whole lot of shit in your life, but I know your a very strong person and please don’t ever give up. You are a beautiful soul.

    • This site really wouldn’t be the same without you, Oil. Think about how many people’s days you’ve made by replying to their struggles positively! You definitley don’t make people feel bad, you spread positivity all over this site and I’m sure everyone loves all the help and advice you’ve given them! I hope you get through these rough times, I know you can do it! Love yourself and know that it’ll all be okay. Be strong. Don’t give up. (hugs)

    • Hi I don’t know you but you just wrote so beautiful words to me. The world needs more people like you.

    • Thanks for your lovely respond on my status, I feel like you should’ve written it for yourself. You sound like a very kind and generous person, but you worry to much. Don’t get caught up on your past. It happened, and you will have to find a way to accept that. Live in the day, focus on where you want to go, and you sound like you want to leave the past behind you. Just use some breathing exercises when you’re thinking about stuff that’s been bothering you. When you’re feeling happy, feel happy. Notice where you feel that feeling, is it your stomach, your head, your heart, somewhere else? Enjoy it and embrace it.
      Everyone can comeout of a terrible feeling, it’s hard sometimes. But remember, you’re always better of hanging on to this live. ’Cause the world is to beautiful not to be a part of it, and you are one of the people who makes it a better place

    • Sometimes the sea needs the rain too. Rain that crowns the hill, comforts the plain, kisses the river- the sea needs some of that too.
      No matter how much it has, no matter how many clouds it has given birth to- sometimes the sea loves a bit of his own, showering high up from the sky; keeping not an unhappy rainbow around.

    • Hey Oli, you’re a wonderful person, don’t let anyone or anything tell you otherwise, even yourself! We are all pieces of a puzzle named life and without you, it wouldn’t be completed. Stay strong, stay wonderfull!

    • Hey Oli,

      I don’t know you that well but I don’t think that you are an annoyance. If there was anything I would say, try to sympathize with people, then cheer them on. Sympathy is stronger and more favorable than telling people nice things, it leads to a more human treatment of the people you talk to. It is great that you try to cheer people on, but it is not the first thing that you should do. You are a great person and hey we all have our mistakes, do not worry you are only human yourself. Be careful and be safe.

    • Oh dear don’t say that. Life comes with its struggles sure but with all of that comes all the positive things. I know it may seem dark inside your mind right now, i know that feeling, but i know you can do it. You try so hard to help others that you forget to help yourself. You are the #1 priority right now so take very good care of yourself! If you need anyone to talk to or just vent to, my inbox is open and you can come to me with anything and i’ll try my best to help you! Stay Strong and take good care of yourself please, we all want you to be well. <3

    • Every time that I post an update, you comment. You help me stay strong. I smile every time I get a comment on one of my updates from you. Please, whatever is going on, you can get through it! You are strong and I believe in you. (hugs)

    • Oli. listen to me. I know that you’re tired. I get that, but you can’t give up! I want to give up every day, but I don’t. You wanna know why? Because I want t make a difference in this world. If you work hard enough, you can effect someone’s life. You could save them. Don’t give up, don’t give in to society’s pressure. You are stronger than them.

    • Oli,
      Stay positive and wonderful things will happen to you. Never give up on yourself and remember that the obstacles in life are always temporary. Stay strong!

    • Oli! You can rock it man. You have the power within yourself to continue helping others and making a positive difference. You have a unique contribution that only you can make. That is special man. Thank you for putting yourself out there and helping even when you are in difficult times yourself. That is so cool!!!!!!

    • Oli, I hope you’re doing well by the time you’re reading this. We all care about you. Talk to any of us if/when you need to and please stay strong<3