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    Oli posted an update 8 years, 8 months ago

    :( Years of depression has taken it’s toll on me, I want the pain, sadness, darkness and loneliness to end. I’m such a screw-up, failure and disappointment, I need to disappear, I haven’t got a purpose, nothing ever goes right for me, I’m just so alone, I’m just getting through each day by pretending to be happy, put the ’happy’ mask on and I’ll make it, I’m such a hypocrite, how can I help others when I can’t even help myself? :(

    Mood : Depressed
    • Hey Oli, I see you a lot on this site! I do have to say, you’re doing a stellar job on bringing happiness and comfort on to others. I truly admire that quality in you. You’re willing to commit time, and sympathy. That truly shows you’re character. You’re not a hypocrite. You are human. We all hit those obstacles that makes us rethink our standing in life. Just know, you’re not alone. If you want to talk about it, feel free to message me! I too have felt plenty of failures especially revolving around college and my decision making, but if we didn’t feel anything or we didn’t fail once in a while we wouldn’t be truly alive. This horrible feeling that you’re experiencing will pass with time, take it a day at a time!

    • Thanks @knockdowncrazy, I’m trying my best to remain positive and strong, I’m feeling a little better now, I’m always here for you if you need to talk or need a friend, stay strong , you are not alone, you are a beautiful and amazing person, feel free to message me anytime if you want (hugs)

    • That’s great to hear Oli! The same to you too, if you need anything just message me! Tons of hugs right back to you! :)

    • Why can’t you see that you’ve helped so many other people? Whenever someone has even a barely depressing update, you’re there for them saying to be strong and to not give up hope. I mean, take a spoon of your on medicine! You need that hope. Try to not be so hypocritical. But if you ever need someone to talk to, you can just pm me or something. I’ll help you. :)

    • Don’t feel upset, we’re all here for you like you’re always here for us. Everyone has those days oil, and it’s our turn to help you. Hahn in there.

    • thumbs up v all r n the same boat wna tlk?

    • omg oil why r u saying that??? ur so awesome ur there for everybody and we all love u even if u feel ur not helping omg u really r. never say that man, remember what u told me, u can do this and come out stronger.

    • Hey Oli.. I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you. I’m sorry you feel the way you do, but keep your head up darling. You’ll make it through this. You’ve helped a lot of people, but now it’s your turn to get that help too. I’m here if you want to message me.

    • hey oli. i havnt been on this site long but one thing i know for sure is where ever i go on here i see your comments and messages helping ppl. so many ppl have found peace and comfort in the things you have said. i was in such a bad mood yesterday and yet you right away responded and had me feeling better. ther are so many ppl that love you and never forget that

    • You are not alone, lets be there for each other. I am here for you always

    • hey. you have a purpose. from what i see you help people every day, there always has to be a balance of good and bad, if everything is all good then you don’t really understand what good is and the same goes for if everything is bad. because you feel so bad right now, all that means is that when you experience good you can feel it so much more than you can even understand right now.

    • hey. you have a purpose. from what i see you help people every day, there always has to be a balance of good and bad, if everything is all good then you don’t really understand what good is and the same goes for if everything is bad. because you feel so bad right now, all that means is that when you experience good you can feel it so much more than you can even understand right now.

    • Oli, this isn’t true, you help people, it sounds cheesy, but you do, you helped, me, however long ago. I owe you Oli, you really are great :D ! it’s what you do for everyone,that make you so great, and even if you didn’t it wouldn’t change, you are purposeful, you help everyone…so much. I hope you feel better Oli.

    • Same the post is 100% me

    • Same the post is 100% me

    • Thanks so much for being so encouraging and you do not need to dissapear i don’t know what i would do if you where gone. your one of the nicest people i have ever talked to your far from a failure and a dissapointment. If you ever need to talk i am here. Take the advice you gave to me. i know its easier said than doe but i can promise you its worth it.

    • many people on here such as myself know the exact feeling.. those of us who have the worst lives have to be the martyrs

    • I know the feeling man! Just know that you commented a few times on my updates when I felt like crap and your comments where always so sweet/caring! You helped me a lot with those comments, like I actually felt like I was worth something when I was bad because of what you said to me! You are certainly not worthless or anything like that! You Are Amazing <3

    • you really aren’t alone :) if you ever need to talk message me :)

    • You are not a screw up I am here for you always. You have helped me so many times I am sure you have save so many others as well. We are all here for you,you are not alone, please hold on. Much love :)

    • @oli i think you just need a really good friend *hugs*

    • Yes oli we all are on this site because we need someone to lean on when no one else seems to be there for us. We can be each others support.

    • @oli You and I are very much Alike. I am one who will be down on his knees, and still want others to be happy. You can’t give up if you know they’re worth it, And not if you know you’re worth it. And you are! If you ever need me, I am here by your side, My dear amigo.

    • @oli I am just like you. Every day I wake up thinking about how my day is going to proceed. I get to where I have to be, with my ”happy” mask as you call it because I cant find my own smile. Its very hard to be happy and not depressed. many of the times you just need someone by your side to tell you that everything is going to be fine. Keep your chin up man, you’ve got this. If you need some one to talk to just send me a message.

    • 1. Be calm.
      2. Breathe in. Breathe out.
      3. Do it again.

      There will always be bad days; remember that even through the dark clouds that block our sight, never forget that the sun, moon and stars are still there, whether we see them or not. Remember that no one is perfect, that no one can rise above pain. We are not gods, we are not immortals, we are human, and are therefore always capable of error.

      We are the ones given the burden of sorrows, of imperfections and flaws. You’re not perfect, and you never were, so don’t drive yourself into the dirt when we all love to see you fly into the sky. Don’t hold yourself up to the standards of gods, for none of us can live as gods when in the end, we are still human.

      There will always be bad days, hours of hurt, minutes and seconds and instances of tears. But the pain which we feel was something we were never meant to feel forever. Take off the mask, let your true self shine through, speak your thoughts for all of us to hear, and we will listen. You know this.

      We will always listen.

      Believe in hope, believe in love. Believe that there is someone out there who loves you, someone who reads the kind words that touch all our souls and clutch at their chest, someone who lets their tears finally fall after hiding them for so long, someone who wants more than anything to actually meet you.

      Hold on to your happiness. Take time to enjoy the beauty of the world around you, take time to enjoy the beauty in yourself, and if you can’t see any beauty in your face, then you need to get a better mirror. Look a little closer, stare a little longer, because there’s something there that made you keep moving all these years with the weight of the sky on your back, something that gave you the strength to brighten the days of thousands despite the agony in your heart.

      Every morning when you wake up, every night when you go to bed, I want you to stand in front of the mirror, and tell yourself, over and over, that YOU ARE WORTH THE FIGHT. Say it, over and over again, until you believe it, if only for a moment. Don’t stop until you believe it, keep doing it even if saying it hurts, keep saying it even after you believe it.

      So be calm.

      Breathe in. Breathe out.

      Do it again.