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    maha posted an update 2 years, 6 months ago

    i want to be alone

    i just want to be completely alone…

    Mood : Tired
    • Okay, im leaving you alone

    • Please don’t feel alone @maha, you are a wonderful, lovely and amazing person who deserves to be surrounded by happiness, I want to see you truly smiling and living each day to the fullest because you are awesome, hold your head up high and focus on all the things that bring you positivity, you can do it, believe in yourself and know you are a…[Read more]

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    maha posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    In reply to: maha posted an update Heh so I’ve been away from this website for a year and a half? strange. a lot of things happened i guess. i left medicine, i study chemical engineering now. i started new hobbies: writing and […] View

    @oliver lol you’re as optimistic as i remember dude, a breath of fresh air :P i’m a pessimist personally but, i appretiate it! thanks~

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    maha posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    In reply to: maha posted an update Heh so I’ve been away from this website for a year and a half? strange. a lot of things happened i guess. i left medicine, i study chemical engineering now. i started new hobbies: writing and […] View

    oh @mariko (btw how do u do the mention thing) well idk, both engineering and medicine are hard lol
    i guess engineering is more forgiving, considering you’re not dealing with human lives.
    idk if this applies to you, because we’re all different, but the reason i joined medicine wasn’t because i was passionate about it. i love science…[Read more]

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    maha posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    In reply to: maha posted an update Heh so I’ve been away from this website for a year and a half? strange. a lot of things happened i guess. i left medicine, i study chemical engineering now. i started new hobbies: writing and […] View

    my anxiety got worse, had more severe panic attacks, made my life miserable, too many expectations, became depressed and unproductive, eventually hated it.

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    maha posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    In reply to: Oli posted an update I feel like I’m just aimlessly drifting through life and going through the motions without any plans, dreams or goals, I’m taking one day at a time but struggling to see a happy future for […] View

    hola old friend~ dude, you’re sad? it’s totally fine to be sad. i mean, look at our world lol. the future is there, it’s inevitable, and it’s coming, so don’t worry about it. just work hard, because the present is what determines your future. and remember, if you hit rock bottom, there really is no other way to go, except up.

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    maha posted an update 2 years, 8 months ago

    Heh so I’ve been away from this website for a year and a half? strange. a lot of things happened i guess. i left medicine, i study chemical engineering now. i started new hobbies: writing and sketching. pretty shit at both, but, getting there. i don’t suffer an identity crisis now, unlike before, because i don’t care about that lol but i guess…[Read more]

    Mood : Apathetic
    • why’d you leave medicine?

    • my anxiety got worse, had more severe panic attacks, made my life miserable, too many expectations, became depressed and unproductive, eventually hated it.

    • @maha can I ask how did you deal with the transition from medicine to chemical engineering? I did the exact same thing (but different degrees) and I’m terrified to go back this year.. idk how to adjust. Do you have any advice?
      Also you should be proud of yourself for making such a hard decision and glad you’rein a better place :)

    • Glad to see you feeling happier and positive @maha, do your best to focus on all the bright moments that lie ahead for you, I’m sure amazing things will happen to you and your degree will go well, be as upbeat as you can and never give up, you can do it, I’m always here if you need to chat or vent, feel free to inbox me anytime, stay strong, you…[Read more]

    • oh @mariko (btw how do u do the mention thing) well idk, both engineering and medicine are hard lol
      i guess engineering is more forgiving, considering you’re not dealing with human lives.
      idk if this applies to you, because we’re all different, but the reason i joined medicine wasn’t because i was passionate about it. i love science…[Read more]

    • @oliver lol you’re as optimistic as i remember dude, a breath of fresh air :P i’m a pessimist personally but, i appretiate it! thanks~

    • It takes a lot of guts to do what you did. Inspiring, really.

    • Good to keep moving forward, even if the direction changes. Life is about moving forward, and finding friends along the way. Hopefully some day you will find that one person you do care about what they think.

      At New Years I always sit and think about the last year, and wonder where I will be the next New Year. Sometimes things stay pretty…[Read more]

    • @maha I think I get the vibe of what you’re saying. I’ve gotten more selfish and a little stupid at times the past year but it feels healthy, in a way, even if it wouldn’t appear that way to someone else. Instead of being overly innocent and wanting to please everyone so much. I’ve become much more picky when making close friends or romantic…[Read more]

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    maha posted a new activity comment 2 years, 8 months ago

    In reply to: Maha posted an update jeez i forgot i had an account here. hello btherapy, again! reading my old posts is cringey and fascinating View

    heyyy i remember you, you’re a nice person!

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    Maha changed their profile picture 2 years, 8 months ago

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    Maha posted an update 2 years, 8 months ago

    jeez i forgot i had an account here. hello btherapy, again! reading my old posts is cringey and fascinating

    Mood : Blank
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    Maha posted an update 4 years ago

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    Maha posted a new activity comment 4 years ago

    In reply to: Maha posted an update I’m just gonna lay it out there, cuze I’m SO HAPPY and idc if nobody reads this! And I realised I hadn’t been happy in a long long LONG LONG time. I’m on a rollercoaster with a Johnlock […] View

    @mariko Thanks! I’m happy to find happiness as well, matter of fact. Even if it doesn’t change that happiness to me barely exists beyond the covers of a book, it certainly is great that I possess them nonetheless. Like a lantern in the dark.

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    Maha posted a new activity comment 4 years ago

    In reply to: Maha posted an update I’m just gonna lay it out there, cuze I’m SO HAPPY and idc if nobody reads this! And I realised I hadn’t been happy in a long long LONG LONG time. I’m on a rollercoaster with a Johnlock […] View

    @Oli Thx dear x”D Though I probably almost died from all the angst all the same.. It’s a good kind of crying! I love that I’m experiencing those emotions. It’s a very curious thing, happiness!

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    Maha posted a new activity comment 4 years ago

    In reply to: Nesa posted an update Friendzoned. HAHA View

    :D

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    Maha posted an update 4 years ago

    I’m just gonna lay it out there, cuze I’m SO HAPPY and idc if nobody reads this! And I realised I hadn’t been happy in a long long LONG LONG time. I’m on a rollercoaster with a Johnlock fanfic! LORD! I so love good writing! I just realised how still my life is. How little emotions besides depression and dull content sway inside me. I hadn’t…[Read more]

    Mood : Happy
    • I’m so happy to see that you finally finding your happiness and feeling that great about life @maha I hope you keep feeling great and I wish you the best :)

    • Oli replied 4 years ago

      It’s fabulous to see you happy and upbeat @maha, it’s good you have found something that puts a smile on your face, keep going forward and keep being brilliant, you can do it, I’m always here if you ever need to chat, message me anytime, my inbox is always open, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

    • maha replied 4 years ago

      @Oli Thx dear x”D Though I probably almost died from all the angst all the same.. It’s a good kind of crying! I love that I’m experiencing those emotions. It’s a very curious thing, happiness!

    • maha replied 4 years ago

      @mariko Thanks! I’m happy to find happiness as well, matter of fact. Even if it doesn’t change that happiness to me barely exists beyond the covers of a book, it certainly is great that I possess them nonetheless. Like a lantern in the dark.

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    Maha joined the group Group logoThe misunderstood 4 years, 1 month ago

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    Maha posted a new activity comment 4 years, 1 month ago

    In reply to: Jessica_love posted an update Someone please teach me how to stop hating myself View

    Well, I can’t hate something I hardly know anything about so, I wouldn’t know. But I guess your best shot is that you simply accept who you are. When you hate yourself you also disapprove of it, what is it about you do you disapprove? Once you know it, you can either change it or accept the reality of it. Both cases will hopefully help you cope…[Read more]

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    Maha posted an update 4 years, 1 month ago

    See see– I started reading now. Seeing as I have a “void” to fill according to.. well. The emptiness left by my nonexistent identity. I’ve started with Tolkien (Hobbit, FoTR, halfway through TTT), Slaughterhouse-five and now 1984. And sprinkles of sherlock holmes and smutty (with strong plots) fanfiction. It’s better than staring at a wall…[Read more]

    Mood : Impressed
    • Keep reading @maha, if it makes you happy, that’s all that matters, hope things continue going awesomely for you, I’m always here if you need to chat :) (hugs)

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    Maha changed their profile picture 4 years, 1 month ago

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    Maha posted an update 4 years, 1 month ago

    I just had a fun conversation w/ some listener (by the name intricate father) and got cut off! SO ANNOYING! I was actually NOT bored for once.

    Mood : Bored
    • Hopefully you’ll re-connect with this person @maha, keep smiling and stay awesome, I’m always here if you need to chat :) (hugs)

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    Maha posted a new activity comment 4 years, 2 months ago

    In reply to: Maha posted an update Dun Dun Dun… About two months ago I started learning the piano. I bought a digital one and I’m getting the hang of it! So beautiful. But, yesterday I had a very spiritual experience.. I went […] View

    @thefrenchdutchman Lol, I’m 18 dude, I doubt I’ll be Beethoven. My parents hated the idea of an instrument because they didn’t want to have to listen to me practicing over and over again. I finally convinced them when I learned that digital pianos have an earphone plug in them.. with the condition that I go to med school (which I very much…[Read more]

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