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    Chris posted an update 10 years ago

    It’s been awhile. I’m currently in recovery for my alcoholism. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Was sober two days, then relapsed last night. Trying again. One day at a time…

    Mood : Anxious
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    Chris posted a new activity comment 10 years, 2 months ago

    In reply to: Oli posted an update I am so depressed, lonely and sad, things will never get better for me, I don’t know why I’m here, I haven’t got a reason or purpose, I……just don’t know anymore :( . View

    Hang in there, friend. I’m here for you. *hugs*

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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 2 months ago

    So much anxiety. Was given Propranolol to help deal with it. I hate this – can’t sleep, can’t concentrate.

    Mood : Anxious
    • Be strong and hang in there!
      I hope it gets better soon…

    • I’m here for you Chris, I’m sure things will improve and get better, stay strong, you are not alone, if you need to talk, I’m always here (hugs)

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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 2 months ago

    It’s been awhile. I’m still alive – finished my intensive out-patient therapy today. I’m anxious about not having that structure anymore. It was nice to have my mornings planned out, even if it was at a hospital (note: I hate hospitals). And I’m anxious about seeing my family on Monday. But I’m just trying to take it one day at a time.

    Mood : Nervous
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    Chris posted a new activity comment 10 years, 3 months ago

    In reply to: Chris posted an update I told two people about my suicide attempt. Both of them asked me if I did it for attention. Why the fuck do I even bother? View

    Thank you. I might take you up on that. *hugs*

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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 3 months ago

    I told two people about my suicide attempt. Both of them asked me if I did it for attention. Why the fuck do I even bother?

    Mood : Disappointed
    • I’m here for you if you need to talk, you are not alone, stay strong, please don’t hurt yourself, if you need to talk or someone to listen, I’m here (hugs)

    • Thank you. I might take you up on that. *hugs*

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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 3 months ago

    I’ve been feeling so weird lately. But I carry an emptiness inside me that I cannot seem to shake. I hardly know what to say anymore. I feel like my parents are terrified of me. I know they’re trying to help, but I don’t think they know what to do. I don’t know what I would do if I were in their shoes, either.

    Mood : Blank
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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 3 months ago

    Therapy has been okay. I’m now on Trazadone and Seroquel. Maybe it’ll provide some relief. Who knows.

    Mood : Apathetic
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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 3 months ago

    Going to be at Kaiser every few days now for intensive out-patient therapy. I know I need it, but I don’t want to do it. My anxiety levels are out of control. Thankfully, the Trazadone I’ve been put on has helped me get to sleep. Otherwise, I don’t know how the fuck I’d be able to cope.

    Mood : Anxious
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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 3 months ago

    Therapy on Friday. I don’t know if I’ll make it. Seriously, this is the worst feeling in the world.

    Mood : Depressed
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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 3 months ago

    I tried to kill myself Friday night. I purposely drank and ran into another car while driving – completely overwhelmed by nothing other than not wanting to live anymore. I completely shattered any trust that was left between my fiancé and I, and only just got back from the hospital today. My parents visited twice. I was expecting them to be super…[Read more]

    Mood : Pessimistic
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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 4 months ago

    It’s been difficult trying to figure out if my soon-to-be in-laws are happy about our engagement. I don’t really think they are, and that’s been difficult for me because my parents seem pretty happy. I could be overreacting but I don’t know. I wish I didn’t care as much as I do.

    Mood : Crappy
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    Chris and Profile picture of RakaeRakae are now friends 10 years, 4 months ago

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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 4 months ago

    Went to see Lamb of God last weekend. Amazing, and still sore as hell, haha. Thank the heavens for Ibuprofen. Long day today – glad to be in now while my fiancé is in class. I need to alone time.

    Mood : Calm
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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 5 months ago

    On so many drugs right now though, some recreational, some not. So I definitely feel drugged, and that makes me feel kinda meh. Remeron – too early to tell how its affecting me, since I’ve only taken it for about two weeks and it takes a month for my depression/anxiety to be taken care of. Melatonin, just to sleep. It’s been giving me weird…[Read more]

    Mood : Exanimate
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    Chris posted a new activity comment 10 years, 5 months ago

    In reply to: Chris posted an update Got some Percocet. High as balls. Also, got that new job, and my boyfriend proposed to me on our vacation. Can’t believe I’ve been engaged for nine days now – so surreal. Everything feels […] View

    Thank you!! <3

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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 5 months ago

    Got some Percocet. High as balls. Also, got that new job, and my boyfriend proposed to me on our vacation. Can’t believe I’ve been engaged for nine days now – so surreal. Everything feels surreal right now, haha. Loving life.

    Mood : High
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    Chris and Profile picture of shari.....shari….. are now friends 10 years, 5 months ago

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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 5 months ago

    New job opportunity opened up for me. My mood is better, and I’m feeling pretty content right now. Going on a daycation to Monterey with my boyfriend for our two-year anniversary so I’m really looking forward to that. Also did some retail therapy and got a nice oversized sweatshirt and some new boots. Yep, things look good.

    Mood : Optimistic
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    Chris posted an update 10 years, 5 months ago

    So I’m being put on a Remeron (mirtazapine), starting with 15mg… if anyone has any experience with this drug, I’d appreciate your input. Did it help your depression/anxiety?

    Mood : Curious
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