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    Ember posted an update 1 year, 2 months ago

    As a listener, does anybody get venters who ask personal questions about their life? What do I do in those situations without appearing like you’re blowing the venter off?

    Mood : Discontent
    • I would try to answer the venters questions only if you feel comfortable enough too @ember1000, personally I have never had that in my experience as a listener, but if I did, I would try to share similar experiences with the venter so we can bond and I can try to help them as much as I can, thank you for always being the kind listener that you are Ember, I would also like to welcome you to BT, you have joined a supportive and loving community where we all help each other, feel free to inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent or reach out to any of our lovely members, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

    • I mean no offense to Oli, but I very frequently have this problem as a Listener. I personally don’t share any detail about myself unless it’s relevant to the Venter’s problem. If they want to know my name because they need to know my name (in an ANONYMOUS chat), I simply say, ”I’d rather not say,” and accept the possibility of them immediately disconnecting because of that… which usually happens. If they’re asking if I’ve had relationship experience so they know if any relationship advice I give has any meaning, I’m totally willing to share that. Being an anonymous chat, there’s a upside and a downside. On the downside, you don’t get to know who you’re talking to and just have to take the advice for what it is: unbiased and unprejudiced. On the upside, you can say literally whatever you want and 99.99% of the time it disappears into the ether once both people disconnect. There’s no room for racism, sexism, or homophobic feelings unless you’re trying very hard to bring that in.

      To summarize all that, I suggest only sharing something if you think it’s relevant to helping them. It’s anonymous, so the only thing you can change is how you two feel in the end. If sharing personal experience helps, great. If they can’t accept you don’t want to get extremely personal for no good reason, just let it go and forget about it. Right?

    • @ember1000 (assuming we are not talking about people trying to guess if you are the woman they are looking to flirt with, or creeps in general who want to talk about sex for their own excitement) maybe try to answer honestly, keeping it as vague as you feel comfortable with. If you have some specific example it can be easier to answer you.