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    aireens posted an update 5 years, 7 months ago

    hello everyone i just would like to share my progress
    so i had friends that have made me uncomfortable, made me feel like i wasnt enough, also made me feel like i was just an annoyance to them…. although we had our fun moments by the end of the day i felt that way.
    we talked about our issues and i thought things would be better, but i just feel worse afterwards
    im spending less time with them and spending time with other people and i feel like i can be myself again with others (although because ive been so quiet with my previous group of friends i tend to talk alot about myself, im trying to do that less tho!)
    im still in the process of finding friends that really fits with my personality!
    but ever since ive been spending time without them i feel much better and this is such a huge ting for me as i was really at my lowest that time.
    ive been telling myself that its ok to leave, leave if you feel like youre not being appreciated for who you are anymore, its OK to find new friends – you are not bound to them, its ok to say NO and its ok to fight for who you are and your interest.
    there were a lot of times that i allowed them to tell me to shut up that i allowed them to mock my interest that in the process i lost myself, i look back and honestly there were so many times that i could have fought for myself but i didnt.
    all of this just another learning experience.
    I want everyone reading this to know that even when youre at your lowest THERE IS a way and there will be a way to get out of there and it always starts with you (i know this sounds like a slogan but trust me its as real as it gets)
    questions to ask yourself (you an pm me this and we can have a little chat about it too :D )
    what kind of change do you want for yourself?
    what changes are you doing for yourself?
    tbh you dont have to have an answer sometimes you just gotta do anything to find something that works
    some things ive learned so far
    >its ok to leave you are never bound to one person.
    >having a ”fuck it” personality is actually a good thing
    a phrase ive been repeating in my head in times of anxiety inducing situations ”fuck what they think, im gonna be myself” hahahah
    >express your anger but give it a day or two and think about what you want to tell them
    when you express your anger immediately you might say words that would hurt yourself or your relationship so give yourself time to collect your thoughts to have a more professional way to say things
    >just overall learn to express yourself
    >lift people up not put them down
    talking bad about others puts poison in your mind. i used to not care of what others do but i learned to think negatively about others and say negative stuff about them and for me it really contributed to my paranoid thoughts and my insecurities
    >apologize less , be more thankful
    this made sucha great impact on me it lessened my self-pity thoughts and improved how i viewed my relationship with others
    >say thank you, good morning, please
    i know its basic manners but saying these things to cashiers, guards, and other working staff really makes me feel positive (especially if they respond too~)
    anyways thank you for reading through ill be honest i was feeling down but as i am writing this i feel so much better i am thankful for everyone in here truly
    feel free to pm mee even just to share something you think is cool, i dont mind!

    Mood : Happy
    • It’s great to see you happy, positive and upbeat @aireens, do spend time with compassionate people who will stick by you no matter what Aireens, everyone deserves loving friends around them, you do too, spread your wings and embrace your wonderful personality Aireens, keep smiling and always go forward with confidence, continue to inspire the BT community with insightful advice and always be the beautiful angel that you are, inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)