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    Fading Echo posted an update 6 months, 1 week ago

    Hey. It’s been a while.
    Since this account was last online, I have been diagnosed with DID. My name is Sofia, and I’m an alter in this system. Eko (you know them as Echo) hasn’t been out in a long time. Hence, me discovering the website when they recommended it after I got stuck between a rock and a hard place. No one has to respond to this, but if you’d like to give your advice please feel free to do so.
    Here’s the situation. Let’s say there’s 2 people, we’ll call them X and Y. X and Y are best friends who want to get together and meet up. However, they can’t decide where. Let’s make up two places, called A and B. Person X wants to go to location A. Person Y wants to go to location B. They cannot go to both locations. Neither of them know where the other wants to go, or even that they have a location in mind. However, if either person were to find out that the other has a location in mind, they would immediately give up on their own location and go to the other one to make the other person happy. However, complications arise. Person X is not 100% sure about location A, but location B is not 100% sure about person Y. Person X speaks to some people at location B and explains the situation. People at location B realize person X is sacrificing for person Y. They decide that this is unfair to person X. However, persons X and Y are in the same positions, and would sacrifice for the other. Not knowing this, location B tells person Y that they cannot go there. Person Y learns that person X had a location in mind, and that person X was trying to get them to go to location B despite this. However, location B has now refused them due to person X’s interference. Person Y is upset that X was not honest from the beginning, but acknowledges that X was right not to tell them, because they would have given up on location B immediately. It is unknown whether location B refused person Y because of person X or because of their own reasons. If location B’s motivation was person X, the result is up for deliberation. If location B’s motivation was their own reasons, that result should not be disputed and the outcome should be respected. Separately from the situation, Y is now unsure if the can return to location B, because location B has now closed its doors. (Location B was private property but they let person Y hang out there, but now that they have said no, person Y doesn’t know how to proceed.)
    This is the part where I complicate things by explaining the situation. Let’s say X is me, and Y is another alter in the system (so we live in the same body), called Eli. Let’s also reveal that A and B are not places at all, but rather relationships. Eli and I have feelings for people… just different people. We cannot have both people because it is technically cheating because we live in one body. Now I’ll further complicate things by explaining that the girl Eli likes also likes him back, but is in a polyamorous relationship. She asked for permission to add him to the group, but one of the members refused after finding out I liked someone. However, she and Eli have feelings for each other. Because one of the members has said no, Eli doesn’t know if he can still be friends with her because of her feelings. However, if the member said no because of me, it’s a whole different story. Eli doesn’t want to intrude on the relationship now that he’s been given a definite ”no,” and thinks it might be better to avoid her then risk intruding.
    So one question becomes two: 1) what do we do about the situation, and 2) how does Eli interact with the girl in the future?
    It’s a complicated situation without a clear answer.

    Mood : Discontent
    • I don’t know if I understood correctly, but I’ll try to give my approach to this. If a member of the polyamorous group refused to add Eli to it, I understand that as that them do not want Eli inside the romantic/sexual relationship between them. So, that would mean Eli can still be friends with this girl (since friendship does not intrude into the polyamorous relationship). If he is afraid his feelings for her might be problematic for this situation, it would be wise to wait and think about it for some time. I agree it’s a complicated situation, and very difficult to find a suitable solution. I hope you can find the best answer for you soon, Sofia <3