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    Fading Echo posted an update 3 weeks, 1 day ago

    So here’s what happened last night:
    My sister and I were playing with two other kids. Me and another kid got onto a bean bag and pulled the other bean bag on top of us. We were all laughing and messing around. As a joke, my sister jumped onto the top bean bag with a blanket and threw it over us. Suddenly, the fun slammed to a halt for me. I was in a dark space, I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. I shoved the blanket off, but she put it back on. I said “stop,” but she put it back on again. I pushed it off and repeated my “stop.” What I didn’t know (because I couldn’t see her) was that she had stopped at that point. However, she was sitting on the blanket, and 70% of it was hanging off the end and smothering me. Every time I pushed it off, it would fall back on due to gravity, and if I tried to pull it all the way off, it wouldn’t move because she was sitting on it, so I thought she was holding it. I started yelling for her to stop, but no one could hear me because it was already loud in the room. My panic escalated, and I tried to escape, but with her on top of the bean bag, I couldn’t. My panic reached the breaking point, and I couldn’t take it anymore; the fear, the weight, the inability to move, see, or breathe. I grabbed the corner of the beanbag and threw it off me, probably a lot harder than was necessary. She, and the beanbag, went flying into the wall. When she sat up, all she saw was me staring at her, emotionless. She didn’t know what was in my head, all she knew was that I had thrown her into the wall (on purpose) for no reason, and didn’t appear to care. I got a bunch of “what the hell”s from the other kids as she ran, crying, to my parents.
    Hers was the story they heard, so I spent the next hour in a family discussion, where my parents grounded me and told me how wrong my actions were. I showed no emotion throughout all of this, and got further scolded for that (“how can you be so cold when your little sister is sobbing because of you?”). Here’s the thing: I do feel emotion, but it’s very faint; a breeze compared to the tempest of my depression. I did feel bad about what I did, but I didn’t know how to show it. Just my life, I guess.

    Mood : Bitchy
    • Your sister really should have not done that to you in the first place @985921sqh, she should have immediately moved away from you when you were having a panic attack Echo, she should have realised that you were claustrophobic and tried to make things better for you, I would try to talk to her and your parents calmly and see if you can sort things out in a peaceful way so you can all feel better, hope things work out Echo, feel free to inbox me anytime if you want to chat or vent, stay strong, you are never alone :) (hugs)

    • maybe try to discuss it with your parents with out her

    • Yeah- emotion is hard to show and gets harder after a near full blown panic attack and shock once it’s all over realizing what just happened but not quite understanding what happened or how.
      Do you struggle with panic attacks or anxiety attacks?
      I’m sorry you got in trouble for something not truly intended, If I could I would talk for you to your parents.